


Over The Rainbow Retreat

by cosplayermadness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake Relationship, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of War, Mentions of past abuse, Pop Culture, Sharing a Bed, Therapy, explicit description of past trauma, fake married, mentions of past trauma, transphobic language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-04-29 05:43:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14466261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosplayermadness/pseuds/cosplayermadness
Summary: Cannon complacent up until 13x20.After the rifts opened up across the country, hunters have been scrambling for months trying to close them, with little luck. Sam and Dean have their hands full already, but when Donna calls about a potential case at a couple’s retreat, the Winchester’s have little choice but to drop everything and help. Would have been nice for Donna to say that it was a GAY couple’s retreat, but it’s a bit too late to back out once they pull up. And of course Sam would draw the short straw and get the shortest depowered angel as his “spouse.” Sam never did feel lucky, but at least it meant a week away from Dean’s bitching.(Set in May/June of 2019 cuz who knows what’s gonna happen next season, not me.) mentions of previous rape but no rape scenesEDIT: I made some floorplans of the place so y'all can get a better visual understanding of where everything in th retreat is.https://imgur.com/gallery/F7DKCoK





	1. Chapter 1

“Well, no offence but this isn’t exactly my colour.” Sam looked up from where he’d been deciding between two almost identical t-shirts. Gabriel stood a few feet away, looking between Sam and his own reflection in contemplation. “Why would you pick this again?”

Sam put both shirts in the basket he had and cocked his head. “It looks good, and it’s soft,  _ and  _ it'll hide any blood stains.”

Gabe grunted. “I don’t know… I kind of like the black one better, and the frayed jeans, but the rest is too much. I’m sick of plaid.”

“Gabe!” Sam mocked a huge gasp. “How could you even  _ say  _ that me?”

Gabriel only shook his head and turned on his heel back into the room. He felt more at ease with Sam than anyone else left alive on earth, but it still wasn’t easy being around one another this much. It was getting a little suffocating having everyone around him think he’s snap from grief or something, like he’d given a part of himself to say the world again.  **_Wow! It’s almost as if they… GASP! - care about me?_ ** He let his head fall onto the closed closet door with a thud. He longed for the days of pranks, the ones where he had no responsibility, no rules. And being able to snap up whatever he wanted  _ was _ a great part of that too. But he couldn’t do that anymore. Whatever little grace he had left was keeping his vessel running with just enough left over to help on hunts or healing someone who was probably going to die without it. But it was a sacrifice he was just going to have to live with. 

Closing his eyes, he steadied his breathing, heart racing. Being in a dressing room was too confined, too much like he was trapped.  _ Again _ . He had to keep breathing.  **_What was it Sam said?_ ** He thought hard.  **_Five count in, eight count out? No, ten out, Ah fuck it._ ** It took too long apparently when Sam’s knuckles rapped on the door. 

“Gabe? You need me to come in there?” Sam’s voice was low, Gabriel the only one to hear him. 

He shook his head. “N-no. No. No, I’m okay, I’m okay.” His hands trembled as he opened the door a crack. Sam’s concerned eyes tracked his features, most likely trying to find anything that would prove Gabriel to be a liar. “I’m good, see? I just… I’m having trouble with the buttons. They’re so small.” He looked down at the shirt, swiping a hand down. 

“Yeah. Here,” Sam’s hands went forward of their own accord, unbuttoning the first two buttons. Gabriel just stared at his hands in equal parts fear and confusion. “You gotta hold the bottom of the shirt so there’s no slack, and then you just,” he easily unbuttoned a third, and a fourth. “Like that. Okay?” 

Gabriel nodded and closed the door.  **_Well, that was weird._ **

A moment of silence hung over them in a thick fog before Sam’s brain caught up. “Oh shit, Gabe. Crap, I know, I’m sorry. That  _ was  _ weird, I just-“

He paused. “So… I said that out loud, huh?”

“Uh, Yeah.”

“Oh. Whoops?”

Sam laughed on the other side of the door. It was a comfort knowing he wouldn’t just leave Gabriel in there alone. “I really  _ am  _ sorry. I’m so used to Luna needing me to do that, it’s kinda on autopilot. But that was a boundary I shouldn’t have crossed.”

“Well,” Gabriel opened the door, dressed in his own stuff, arm full of clothes. “If you wanted to get me naked, doing it in an Old Navy is definitely not the place.” He winked, trying to go for the hopelessly lame, very cocky flirting of his past, instead of the awkward, desperate non-flirter he was now. 

It seemed to work, Sam snorting at him. “You wish. Now let’s get outta here. I gotta get a new memory card for the audio recorder.” 

Gabriel was about to make a joke about some  _ other _ kind of audio they could be recording when Sam’s phone rang. “Hey. Yeah, we’re heading to the cash.” He paused a second to listen, Gabriel taking the basket from his hands and heading to cash out. “Yeah… but-“ Sam rolled his eyes, mouthing ‘Dean’. “Yeah, I know- no, don’t- seriously?  _ Seriously _ ? You’re gonna play tha- Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. Okay. I said okay! Yeah, just email it to me…. no, don’t let her near the-“ Sam pulled the phone away to look at it incredulously. “He hung up on me.”

Gabriel chuckled. “He left Jack and Luna alone in the same room, huh?”

Sam sighed. “Yeah. Yep. Now she’s gonna be hyper all day.” A thought occurred to him. “So, get this-“

“I hate when you do that.”

“Shut up. So, that’s not going to be  _ our _ problem this weekend because _we_ have a hunt.”

The shorter man let his mouth hang open. “Wha- seriously? What, where, when, who and  _ wow _ , cuz I’ll take  _ anything  _ to not be around the kid when she’s hopped up on enough sugar to kill an entire herd of rhinos.” Sam chuckled. “No, I’m serious, Sammich- you know the jukebox incident?”

Sam tilted his head in confusion. “I thought that was you?”

“No! Kid wanted to hear some Tom Jones and Jack tried to pick the track from across the room.” He paused in the line, checking around to see if the pair of teenage girls in from of them were listening. “His grace went haywire and the  _ thing exploded _ ! From  _ across _ the  _ room!” _ He stage whispered. 

Sam shook his head. “Guess he’s taking this ‘big brother role’ a little too seriously.”

Gabe shrugged. “You bring back a baby from an apocalypse world, she’s gonna get some attachments.” 

Luna hadn’t been the plan, not even a thought in anyone’s mind, but the second Dean saw how alone the toddler had been, how easily she would have died being slaughtered or worse- he picked that kid up and didn’t let go until they were back in the bunker, rift closed. At least not for another four and a half hours as he had Sam drive to the next city over for a crib and other baby stuff. A total nightmare for Sam if his mom hadn’t come along. 

It wasn’t the most ideal situation, but she was sick, and without Cas healing her every week or two, she’d be dead otherwise. So the bunker had a baby, a toddler now, really, - and far faster of a crawler than anyone expected - and Dean had a bunk mate who would wake him every morning with a shrill scream and a slightly toothy smile.

“So, anyways,” he shook himself out of his reverie. “Dean said Donna called: there’s been a few couples disappearing, then found murdered in their beds three days later.”

Gabriel hummed. “What’s the weird part? Kinda sounds like a serial killer.”

“They don’t live in the same town, don’t work any jobs together, the only thing they have in common is going to a couple’s retreat a week before.”

“So… whatever it is stalks them there, follows them home, and comes back to kill them in their beds. Okay, what about this  _ doesn’t  _ scream serial killer?”

Sam thumbed through his phone to open the email Dean had sent, scrolling to the latest news link. “They were missing their eyes and their hearts were ripped from their chests.”

“Yep. That’ll do it. So what’s the cover?”

“Donna and I’ll go in posed as a couple and you go in as a janitor, and -“

Gabe smacked him with the frayed jeans. “Wait a hot minute there. Janitor? That’s not funny, Sambulance.”

“What? Why?”

“Are you-“ he leaned in to shake his head at Sam. “Want to think back a few years? Maybe like… twelve or so? Think-“ he poked Sam’s chest with each word he said. “About… how- we-  _ met! _ ”

Sam scrunched his face in confusion for exactly one second, then pulled an annoyed face. “Shut up. Sorry. Okay, you go with Donna, and I’ll go as the janitor. You cool with that?”

“Hmmmm… okay. Donna and I would make more sense anyways. No way you get a woman  _ that _ sexy.”

“Yeah, Yeah.” He rolled his eyes, stepping up to the counter to pay for their purchases and vamoose. 

 

————————————

 

The drive down to Denver, Colorado took the rest of their day, stopping twice for food and bathroom breaks. They planned to meet Donna at the airport, split up and have Sam go in first to pose as a new hire, sweep the place, then give Donna and Gabriel the go ahead to come check in. Or at least, it  _ was  _ the plan until they picked her up. 

“Okay fellas! So I’m going to have to text you guys once I’m in position, but I was thinking instead of janitor, I play to my strengths and go straight for the security position that’s open there. That way I can look through their feeds, and-“

“Woah!” Sam stopped her as she made her way to pick up her rental. “What are you talking about?”

“The plan, silly!” She snorted a laugh. “Geez, gotta love this one but sometimes, ya just have trouble followin’ along, huh? Guess that’s what happens after too many blows to the head!” She joked lightly, tapping his head with her knuckles softly like she was knocking on a door. Her teasing had no malice, no anger, just light and playful. 

“Donna, you and Gabriel are gonna pose as the couple, and I’m going for the janitor/security position.”

She cocked her head, confusion creeping onto her face. “Uh, no. You and Gabriel are going as the couple. It would be hard for them to accept Gabe and I as a couple.”

“And why’s that?” Gabe scoffed. “Am I not good enough for ya Donna?”

“No, no, it’s not that. You did talk to Dean, right?” 

An exhausted looking man gave them a dirty look as he passed. “What? Why?” Sam lowered his voice.  The hell’s going on?”

“No need to curse!” She clicked the key fob, unlocking the trunk to dump her bags in. “It’s a gay and lesbian retreat, uh that GBLMPT thing.”

Gabe huffed. “LGBTQ+?”

“Yeah! That. I thought Dean told you… he didn’t tell you, huh?”

Sam shook his head, rage bubbling under the surface. “Would have been good to know that  _ before  _ we left Kansas.”

“Yikes! Well, I should be there in less than an hour, and I’ll text you when I get there, and if I get in or not.” She smiled tightly, walking quickly to the rental, Gabe standing next to Sam who was a few seconds away to a total meltdown. “You can head on down after dinner.”

Sam said nothing. He just stood there, staring at her, mouth agape. Gabe elbowed him in the ribs, jolting him back into this plane of existence. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Okay, thanks Donna.” 

Donna nodded, closing the trunk firmly, opening the driver’s door. “Ah… call him.”

“Will do!” Gabriel waved her off, walking back to their old station wagon. “Drive safe!” She saluted him and started the car, slamming the door. He turned back around as she peeled away from the parking lot, Sam still staring after her. He looked up and tsked at his never present father at the increasingly awful and awkward positions he was leaving them all in. “Sammich. Samsquatch. Come ‘ere boy!” He whistled at the taller man, making hand motions like Sam was an over eager golden retriever trying to dig a hole in their garden. “Sam? Hey, Sam!” 

Sam shook his head, eyes refocusing on where he was, turning towards where Gabe had shouted. “Huh? Oh, uh… sorry. I just-“ he sighed. “What was the question?”

Gabriel reminded himself that he  _ should not  _ roll his eyes and he  _ also should not  _ fling a joke about how he couldn’t pay attention to ‘this little hot piece when there’s a sexy rental car around’, but a neutral face of annoyance wasn’t on the  _ should not  _ list. “Get in the car, call your brother, then let’s get food. I’m in the mood for tacos. You want tacos?” Sam stared  _ him  _ down now. “Oh… riiiiiiiiight. Right. Greek it is.” 

Their station wagon creaked as he got in, putting the phone on speaker as the line ringed. It went to voicemail, Sam hanging up and calling again, Dean picking it up on the second ring. 

“Yeah, I had my hands full because  _ someone  _ doesn’t know that honey goes in tea, not  _ her little face, _ isn’t that right? Isn’t that right?” Hearing his brother baby talk was still unnerving. He was forty now. He should act like it. 

“Hey, Dean?”

The line crinkled a bit, Dean wedging the phone between his face and shoulder. “Yeah Sammy. What’s up?”

“This retreat… is for queer couples.”

A pause of silence, Luna’s babbling very quiet on the other line. “What.”

Sam growled. “Yeah.  _ Over The Rainbow _ sounded  _ straight _ to you?”

“No… I mean, not exactly? I just thought it was kinda Wizard of Oz themed!”

Sam covered his face with a hand, rubbing up to pull his hair from his face. “I hate you.”

“I  _ swear  _ Sammy! I  _ swear  _ I had no idea!”

“Then how do you explain that all the couples are queer?”

“But…. Cindii and Lowell?”

Gabriel opened his bottle of water. “Lowell was a trans man and Cindii was bi”

“Uh… Sky and George?”

“Sky was non-binary.” Sam took his own bottle, mouth far too dry. 

“Lucas and Mac”

“Two dudes.”

“But Mac’s short for Mackenzie, right?”

“Holy shit Dean! Didn’t you look up their obituaries? They have  _ photos on those _ !”

Dean sputtered. “Half of them didn’t! I just assumed it was a mixed batch! Shit, well, what do you wanna do?” 

“I really wanna punch you is what I wanna do, but…” he sighed. “We’re already here and the room’s already paid for… what do think Gabe?”

The ex angel shrugged where he was playing on his phone. “I’m game. Food’s included, yeah?”

“Well, Yeah, it’s all inclusive, so food and drinks are-“

“Drinks are free?” Gabe dropped his phone in his lap. “Sign me the  _ fuck _ up! I can pretend to be his boyfriend for a week if it means I can get tipsy at the bar for free.”

Sam shook his head in disapproval but said nothing to the shorter man. “Alright, guess we’re gonna go in. Just gotta find some ID to match the reservation and I’ll call before we go to bed.”

He hung up and stuck the phone in the carrier Gabriel had ‘installed’ the week before. Apparently the guy liked the GSP more than he’d care to admit. The Greek food they had for late lunch was pretty decent for coming out of a sketchy looking truck, and they didn’t bother making any other stops. They said little save for commenting on other people’s driving skills (or lack thereof) and a rather ugly back bumper completely covered in stickers to try and hide some serious rust damage. 

The front entrance of the resort was already too fancy for the two of them, the ten foot tall gold plated fence with a gate so ornately twisted and decorated that Sam wondered how much they’d charge just to look at it. The resort itself was atop a very steep hill, the drive from the gate to the main building taking twice as long than necessary, but absolutely worth the wait. 

The main building was a gorgeous, contemporary lodge, with an ornate gable roof over the main entrance. The main two rooms could be seen from the outside, floor to ceiling windows, the dining room and bar lights shining through to the parking lot. 

“Fan-cy!” Gabriel whistled long. “You never take me anywhere  _ this  _ nice!” Sam turned to watch his companion go full method actor. “Are you… planning to propose? Or worse… are you leaving me for law school?!”

Sam snorted a laugh. “I already went to law school, if you don’t remember.”

“Oh, I remember.” The mischievous look he shot Sam was one to  _ definitely  _ be worried about. “I’m just trying to play Elle Woods to your Warner Huntington III!”

Sam got out of the car, huffing as he got his bag. “Warner leaves her and gets back with his ex, but he ultimately ends up alone cuz he’s a piece of garbage!” He shouted back. “Are you saying I’m  _ garbage _ ?” 

“If you dump me here, you will be!” Gabriel retorted, stomping his feet to the trunk to get his own bag. 

“Fucking unbelievable.” Sam shook his head looking up at the sky. “You see how annoying your son is?” Gabriel wanted to be dramatic, well Sam Fucking Winchester could be dramatic too. 

Shame that they had an actual audience this time. 

A snorting laugh responded three cars down from theirs, Sam’s head whipping around to see a couple, one Japanese man with his black boyfriend taking out bags from a Toyota sedan,  _ very  _ interested in their little show. 

“Uh… Gabe?”

“No! Elle Woods would  _ not  _ stand for this, uh-uh!” He marched over to Sam to get in his face. “She’d walk all the way home in her designer made shoes, and she-“ Gabriel stopped his talking as Sam held his chin in one hand and turned his head to look at the couple in question. “Uh… hi?” 

The black man, hair a flaming pink and four piercings in each ear, stepped forward to say something, introduce himself,  _ something _ . But Sam didn’t have a chance to say or  _ do  _ anything, Gabriel’s instincts kicked in and he flinched. 

“Oh, uh…” the couple both looked confused, Sam scrunching his face closed in regret at not going first. Gabriel was still sensitive when someone moved suddenly, or a sudden noise hit - he couldn’t help it. Some nights were so bad, Sam had to crawl into his bed just to get him to breathe. It was a lot. “I um…”

“Sorry, uh, he’s skittish. We-“ Sam turned to include Gabriel, but the angel was already halfway to the front door. “I’m so sorry,” he quickly apologized. “He’s usually much nicer, he just… let us buy you drinks later, during dinner. I’ll catch you there, okay?” He ran jogged backwards to see their reaction. 

The other guy yelled back a “see you then” and Sam turned to rush after Gabe. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey!” Sam huffed as the glass doors slid open, the main foyer sleek and elegant, modern with a few rustic charms. Gabriel stood just to the side of the curved desk, two couples ahead of him. His shoulders were tight. “Hey, Gabe. It’s okay, what’s wrong?”

Gabriel’s eyes were full of rage. “What’s  _ wrong? _ ” He whispered. “What’s wrong is this is supposed to be a  _ case _ , and one where I need to  _ talk  _ to people for  _ intel _ , but I can’t even fucking keep it together when a stranger tries to  _ shake my hand _ !” He huffed.

Sam gently placed his palm on his back, right between the shoulder blades. Dean did this for Cas sometimes, a way to ground an angel back to earth. “Hey,” he tried again more softly. “It’s okay,” he got nothing but a biting look in return. “Look, it’s obvious that you’re _  not _  okay, but you will be.”

“When, Sam? When? Cuz it’s been a  _ year _  and I’m still-” he growled out a breath, steadying himself. “I’m all for fucking around with people, but they gotta deserve it. That couple didn’t. And now that’s they’re first impression of us: the couple who argues loudly in a parking lot and flinches away at someone trying to  _ shake their hand!” _

Sam sighed, reminding himself that rolling his eyes would be considered rude. “Good thing we’re at a couple’s retreat,  _ honey _ .”

Gabriel huffed, narrowing his eyes. “So glad to be here,  _ dear.” _

Sam didn’t have a chance to reply, the concierge welcoming them at the desk. They hadn’t even noticed the other couples had already checked in. “Hello there! Sorry to have kept you waiting; one of our computers is acting up, so it’s just me today. I’m Josephine, and welcome to  _ Over The Rainbow _ !” She was cheery, far too chipper to be her personality on it’s own. “Let’s get you two checked in so you can go grab dinner.”

“Sounds great, thanks.” Sam nudged a fuming Gabriel towards the counter, pulling out their fakes. He tried to go as playful as possible, but fell a few feet short.  “Here’s my ID, and his - he  _ always  _ loses cards - and we’re checked in under me, ‘Sam’.”

She took the ID happily, checking over to make sure it was indeed them.  **_Thank fuck Dean made Gabe a bunch of these in the fall,_ **  he mused to himself. He motioned to the cucumber water in the jug next to Gabe and the shorter of them all but shoved a cup angrily into his hands.

“Okie- dokie! You two are in one of our VIP suites, such fun!” Sam’s eyebrows shot into his hairline, but Josephine was oblivious. “You’ll want to go into the big hall behind me, the one with the waterfalls, and take the second hallway on your left, it’ll have carpeted flooring, instead of tile. Then it’s the very last door right in front,  _ not  _ to the left. That’s our standard room. Breakfast is served between eight and ten am, lunch between twelve and two, and dinner is between six thirty and nine. The bar is open from noon to midnight, but if you’re finding you’re feeling peckish, just give us a ring and we’ll have something sent over to you.” She handed Sam back the ID’s, along with a pamphlet on the activities offered, an envelope with his name on it, and two key cards. “There’s what’s offered on our grounds, in the envelope there’s the general rules of the retreat, as well as some coupons for a few shops further in town if you want to go do a little shopping, and your schedule.”

“Ah… sorry, schedule?”

She nodded, ponytail bobbing. “Yep! Every couple is required to attend group and couple therapy sessions during your stay, as well as a few mandatory electives!”

Gabe snorted. “Isn’t that an oxymoron? How can you demand an elective! That’s stupid.”

“That’s what they do in high school,  _ dear.” _

Gabriel’s face soured. “Yeah, well.. It’s been a while.”

Josephine cleared her throat in that annoying way where someone isn’t even clearing their throat, but mimicking a hamster clearing their throat. “It’s already ten past seven, and the kitchen closes at nine. I wouldn’t want to miss our famous baked ziti!” She rubbed the air above her stomach like a child. “Yum, Yum!”

They both stared at her a second in utter shock. Gabe thankfully had more self control than Sam -  **_HA! Gabe wishes_ ** \- and dragged him away with a curt “thanks”

“You’re welcome! Have a great stay Mr and Mr Freely!”

Sam nodded, letting himself be dragged towards the waterfall wall she pointed to earlier.

Gabriel tugged him towards the one corner where no one could look at them. “You put us both under ‘Freely’?”

“Did I?” Sam looked back at Josephine’s desk, then at the ID’s in his hand. One Mr Gabriel Freely, and one Mr Samuel Freely. “Ah, shit. Guess I did. Damnit”

“Well then. When’d we get married?”

Sam spat out part of his cucumber water. “Uh… what?”

Gabe rolled his eyes. “Married. Ya know, when two people come together on holy - or not so holy, depending on who you a-“

“I  _ know  _ what it means. I  _ mean _ , what are you talking about?”

Gabriel scowled. “You put us under the same last name, like  _ a married couple _ !”

Sam closed his eyes, a sudden headache ready to make his acquaintance. “Right. Right, right, right. Shit. I don’t know! I didn’t think of that!”

“Okay, let’s just go to our room before we meet anyone else and iron this out.  _ Right now. _ ” He jutted his chin towards the very enthusiastic red headed gay couple headed their way. “They seem chatty.”

“Yeeeeeeah…. agreed.” Sam grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the rooms, uncaring for the looks of confusion at the couples they passed by.

It seemed to be a particularly popular retreat, every last room being rented out for the week ‘of healing’. It was a nice enough place - definitely too fancy for the two of them, that was for sure - so they had been geared up with dealing with the posh and proper, but this…

“How do you wanna play this?”

Sam locked the door behind them, letting his head thunk on the wood. Gabriel was shuffling their bags in the room, waiting a bit impatiently for an answer. “I don’t know. I  _ don’t know.” _

“Okay, okay. Come sit down before you have a conniption.”

Sam sighed and turned to face the room. There was a small hallway between the door and the rest of the room, having to turn a corner to see the ridiculously large bed on the left, and a more modest living area, complete with loveseat, tv, and an antique radio. The overall decor was modern, far more fashionable than anything  _ they’d  _ ever stayed in before, though the cream coloured walls were nothing to write home about. The bathroom, on the other hand, was absolutely breathtaking. Floor to ceiling windows overlooked the view below the cliff, stretching for miles of wilderness and budding flora. The sink and shower were all chrome, glass and porcelain, definitely worth a few grand each. The toilet had motion sensors, he found out, as he walked by it and the lid lifted itself. Shame that Sam already had drawn his gun from instinct and almost shot the high tech crapper, which wouldn’t help them with the case if he had. The real masterpiece was the jacuzzi tub against the dark blue tiled wall adjacent the window, a stack of clean towels on it’s edge.

Gabriel must have heard the gun cocking, his voice ringing out next to him, “nice.” Sam turned to glare at him. “What? The jacuzzi is super romantic, and that  _ view! _ ” He whistled low and long. “Damn. Now  _ that’s  _ taking exhibitionism to a whole new level! I’ve seen my fair share of A+ digs, but these retreat people sure know how to treat ya!”

Sam sighed, pushing past him to unpack his bag.

“What? No comment on the exhibition joke?”

“No, Gabe. I’m tired, I’m hungry, and we can’t leave this room until we have a convincing story for these people!” Sam huffed, trying desperately to calm down. The last thing they needed right now was a commotion. “Sorry, I’m just-“

“Stressed.” He looked up to meet Gabriel’s gaze. “Same here, Sam. I-“ he rubbed his face with his hands. “I haven’t been exactly  _ good  _ with this stuff over the years and I’ll probably end up fucking up by accidentally flirting with a staff member by tomorrow’s end, and people are dying, but I  _ have no juice _  so I can’t tell  _ what _  could be here. Also, you almost  _ shot  _ a  _ toilet! _  We’re not the right people for this!”

“Yeah, no shit, Gabe. But Dean would blow his cover before he’d even check in, and all Donna has right now is you and me.”

Gabriel cocked his head in confusion. “What about Jody? They’re still friends, right?”

Sam sighed. “Yeah. But Jody had some stuff to deal with, something about the girls but wouldn’t give me details, and I’d ask Jesse and Caesar, but…”

“They’re in Greece. Yeah, I forgot about that. That, and Caesar would have Jesse sleep on the couch if he made them go on a hunt… here.”

“Yeah.” He sighed, bag forgotten, sliding to the bed. “I’m so tired. Can we please just focus?”

“Okay, how about we stick… mostly to the truth.” He put his hands up in defence at Sam’s bitchface. “I said  _ mostly _ , okay big guy? Like… we met twelve years back, saw each other in passing a bunch, then I was dead- okay, not that, maybe… you thought I was dead cuz I… ghosted you? Then we saw each other last year, rekindled some emotions, we got married and bam! We’re here! Happy couple.”

“Except this is a couple’s retreat - for  _ failing  _ relationships.”

“Riiiight… right. Hmm.” Silence fell in the room, deafening in the absence of their arguing. “I got an idea, but… never mind.”

Sam lifted himself on his elbows. “No, I wanna hear it.”

“Okay, well… you hunt, yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“So we gotta figure out how to explain your… hunter-ness, plus, you brought a  _ gun  _ to a retreat, plus your old man was a piece of shit-“

“I don’t see how he has anything to-“

“Trust me, he’ll come up. Couple’s retreat, remember?” Gabriel smirked like the good old trickster he still pretended he was. So, I’m thinking… army backstory, I was in the Air Force, would explain our meeting in passing, the whole me ‘dead but not dead’ for eight years, and why we’re both squirrelly. No one’s gonna question some fidgety behaviour if they think we have PTSD.”

“Gabriel…” he pushed himself to stand. “We  _ do  _ have PTSD!”

“There’s the spirit!”

Sam shook his head. “You’re insufferable.”

“Maybe, but for this week, I’m your husband, and we gotta play to our strengths here.”

Sam rolled his eyes but nodded. “Okay… okay, that works. Now get changed, we have to catch dinner before sunset.”

“Uh… why?”

“Cuz I wanna see the sun setting over the cliff.” He mumbled, turning focus back to his bag.

Gabriel shuffled around to his own bag. “Yeah, I  _ got that _ , just, why do you want to change? It’s just dinner.”

“Yeah, but it’s dinner with a bunch of  _ other _  people, people we’re going to have to have  _ group _  therapy with tomorrow. I’d  _ like _  to make a good first impression, if that’s okay with you.”

Gabriel stiffened. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Great.” Sam shuffled around another three seconds before it dawned on him. “Oh, shit, sorry Gabe.” He turned around to catch his hand, but he was already across the room on the couch to sort through his things. “I didn’t mean like that, I-”

“‘S’fine.”

“No, it’s not, I just-”

“Enough!” Gabriel all but ripped off his leather jacket. “I get it, okay. That’s gonna happen a lot this week, especially cuz we can’t hide from each other in here if we need a breather, so I’m just going to get used to it now before either of us blows a gasket that’ll lead to something worse than a ‘marrital spat’, okay?”

“No. Not okay.” Sam threw the shirt he was going to put on onto the bed and strode over to Gabriel, uncaring for his attitude. “If this is going to work, we have to be honest in here, this room, just us. So if I say something outta line, you say it here, otherwise, it’ll just keep going around and around and we’ll never solve the case cuz we’ll be the  _ ones dead.” _  He waited until he nodded, then backed off. “I’m sorry I got in your face just now, I know how you hate it, and I’m sorry about the insinuation that you didn’t make a good first impression. If it’s any consolation, they seemed to find our Legally Blonde banter amusing.”

A small smile escaped his lips, looking anywhere but at Sam. “Maybe a little.”

Sam beamed, taking off his layers to cover his undershirt with a clean button down. “I’m glad. Now let’s go eat and maybe we can shmooze a little. You’re still good at that, right?” Teasing him was second nature, and he could always do it more easily than with Dean.

Gabe locked eyes with him as he struggled into the new henley they’d gotten earlier that day. “You got that right, babe.”

Sam shook his head. “Not …  _ babe _ .”

“Hmm.. how about… sugar tits?” Sam pulled bitchface number thirty two. “Okay…  dumpling bear? Hmm… cow pie? Moosezilla! No, I got it,” he snapped his fingers. “ _ Aisuru _ !”

“I don’t know what that means, but I have a feeling I’m not going to like it.”

“Hmm. No, probably not, but i’m sticking to it!”

 

\---------------------------

 

The dining room branched off from the main foyer, lots of tables set for four, a few just for two. Most of the other guests were already sitting down, many starting their meals. Gabriel started to head to a table set for two, but Sam’s instant nagging to make nice with the couple he’d more than likely insulted earlier won out. He dragged his feet on the dark flooring the whole way over, only, they didn’t make it to the right table.

“Hey, guys!” A familiar redhead popped up up in their line of fire, blocking both of them from moving in any direction. “Trent and I were just saying how cool it was to meet fellow newlyweds, and how you should come sit with us!”

“Uh, actually…” Sam started.

Trent, as it so happened, cut him off before he could get another word in edgewise. “Yeah, come one guys! We just ordered a bottle of wine for the table and Chad can’t drink more than a glass without singing  _ I’m Not That Girl _ , and then it’s all over for us all!” They laughed together, two generic copies of what some poor teenager dreamed gay men to be like.

“Uh, we’d love to, but we actually made plans…” Gabe motioned over to the cool couple across the dining hall, only to be too late. A lesbian couple had already claimed them, a tall lanky woman pushing her girlfriend’s wheelchair towards them. “I guess… we have an opening. Yay.”

Sam elbowed him. “Gabe.”

He put his hands up in defense. Sure, sure, okay. Nice to meet you. Chad, Trent.” He shook Chad’s hand, his clammy, clammy hand.

“Here, sit between me and your man, and dish.”

“Uh… oh...kay?” He and Sam traded a look of utter hopelessness.  **_I’ve survived worse, we’ve survived worse. We even survived worse together. This is not so bad, it’s not bad, it’s not scary._ ** “So what’s this about you not being that type of girl?” He reached for the water their server laid on the table.

A pause and a raised eyebrow, then: “Um…. are you serious righ’ naw?”

“Um… yes..?” He shot his best  **_what the ever living fuck are they talking about_ ** look to Sam, getting a  **_just try to keep up_ **  look back.

“It’s from Wicked. You know, the musical? What kind of gays are you?”

“The ones who don’t listen to showtunes. Not sober, anyways.” He smirked at the choking sound of Sam trying to swallow his water next to him.

Trent and Chad gave them twin looks of confused squirrel. The server had the best timing - and would continue to have it all night - taking their orders from Sam and Gabriel first, thank Chuck, and making a hasty exit as the questions kept raining down.

“So… Sam,” Trent trailed a finger up Sam’s arm, lifting it just as Sam was about to jerk away, booping his nose in one fluid motion. “Big guy like you, guess no one gave you a hard time when you came out, huh?”

Gabriel had seen Sam fight werewolves, angels, reapers, even an aswag,  _ hell, _  they fought Loki’s brat kids together. But Sam, in this moment, oh no, Gabriel had never seen fear in the hunter’s eyes like he did now. “I um…”

“He never needed to.” Sam’s face relaxed at Gabe’s voice. “He was an adult and his dad’s long dead. His brother’s bi, so it’s not exactly a surprise to anyone but my Sambulance, right my  _ Aisuru _ ?”

Sam stared at him, recognition at the pet name, thankful for a safe word. “Yeah,” a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. “Yeah, I just kind of went to my brother and told him I had to tell him something…”

“He said ‘ _ dude’, _  I’m paraphrasing cuz I  _ would _  do the real voice, but it’s too spot on, would freak you out. Anyways, he says ‘ _ Sam, I already know. Just don’t tell me you’re shacking up with that dick with wings, Gabriel’. _  Shame for him, he is.”

Chad tilted his head, sipping his wine - no,  _ slurping  _ \- confused. “Dick with wings? I don’t… is that like,” he moved in closer, whispering. “That like… a furry thing?”

“The hell is a furry? No, it’s a joke cuz I was in the air force. And I  _ was _  a dick to him. He’s kind of in need of a reality check, honestly.” Gabriel attempted to drown himself in wine, only to realize he no longer had his glass. His eyed Sam as the taller man drank it all at once like a pornstar shot in the middle of frosh week.

Chad nodded, also draining his own glass. “So are you air force too, Sam?”

“Uh, no, army.”

Trent’s face lit up. “Oh shit! Gay military, oh that’s gotta piss off so many people. Man, but I guess that means you love a man in uniform, huh,  _ Sambulance _ ?”

Sam threw a bitch face at him, no longer caring that they had to be polite. “Only he gets to call me that. Pass the wine there Chad. I think maybe someone should join you in off key singing tonight.”

Gabriel tried to stop the bottle, but backed off at Sam’s glare.

They spent much of dinner like that; Chad paying more attention to the wine and talking more about himself than listening, and Trent being wildly inappropriate towards Sam, who was trying to get steadily more drunk as the night went on. Three bottles of wine - what kind of retreat doesn’t carry  _ beer?  _ \- and a fifth of whiskey, Gabe tried and failed to get Sam back to their room in time for the sunset. Sam grumbled the entire way, leaning heavily on Gabriel’s bad side, and slurring random half sentences he couldn’t pick up on fast enough. Thankfully for them, the O’Connels’ room was on the complete opposite side of the resort.

“I just- I jus- jus-  _ he he,  _ sounds like juice.” He slapped Gabe’s shoulder as he tried to open the door. “We gotta get juice! For the… the… I don’t remember, but juice would make it better.” He gasped as the door opened. “You did it! Now we can have  _juuuuice_!”

Gabe gaped at the towering lumberjack of a puppy bounding into the room, nearly clipping himself on the corner of the wall on his way to the bed. He looked up at the ceiling, reminding himself that he  _ chose _  this. He  _ chose _  to leave heaven, to stay with these ‘legacies’ to hunt with. If only 2009 him could see this shit now. Ten fucking years and instead of raining down fury, or having cows fall onto rando people for shits and giggles, he was here, in a far too expensive room with a drunk and giggling Sam Winchester.  **_How the hell did they expect LUCI to be…. That?!_ **  He shook his head, toeing off his shoes and moving to do the same for Sam.

“Shoe thief! Stop stealing my shoes, you.. You shoe thief!” Sam kicked his legs out at him.

Gabriel used a bit of grace to catch and hold his stupid legs one by one and taking the shoes off. “You’ll get them back tomorrow, come on,” he held a hand out. “Let’s get you to brush your teeth.”

Sam stuck his tongue out and burrowed his face into the pillow instead. “Never!” Was the only reply he got before soft snores sounded from the bed.

“Welp, daddi-o. Look at me now!” He joked, no one around to hear, or care. “You wanted us to love and take care of the humans, and I’m here taking care of one of your personal faves. Guess you saw that coming, huh?”

There was no response; there never was. Not when he was locked up, not when he almost died trying to restore the very heaven Chuck left to fall to ruins, not when he had his first cold as a mere mortal, and most definitely not now. Just the soft snoring from Sam and the ticking of his heart against his chest. He rubbed his eyes in annoyance, puttering to the couch to pass out and hope tomorrow would be a better day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should say that as a queer individual myself, I’ve been asked “what kind of gay are you?” by straight and gay people a like. It’s annoying. And these two are loosely based on how gay men are portrayed by the media (also mostly of an old ‘friend’ of mind who should be in jail now, right Trent?) and are meant to be called out by the audience.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I watched the rest of season 13 and... fuck that. I'm not writing that shit, so this still stands as cannon complacent up till 13x20

The morning wasn’t much better, frankly. 

He awoke with cotton mouth, regretting not brushing his teeth before bed, and a crick in his neck he would have to heal with his grace once he was sure Sam hadn’t died in the middle of the night. 

“Oi, you alive in there?” He poked the tuft of hair on the pillow, a low groan his only response. “Guess so. Cool if I leave you hungover? Cuz I slept on that shitty couch since  _ someone _ starfished on the bed and I’d rather not have to deal with it.”

Sam rolled his head over enough to look at him with narrow eyes, squinty from sensitivity. “Shut up. Ugh… talking hurts.”

“We have group painting or whatever after breakfast. You gonna be okay until we get there, or should I bring you the juice now?”

The colour all ran from his face, Gabriel backing away not a second too soon. Sam practically flew to the bathroom, only barely catching his hair before puking in the toilet.

He shuffled over to the hunter, placing his hand on his back and pushing a bit of grace to heal the headache and nausea. “Guess you’re happy for a robo-toilet now, huh”

Sam hit the panel to flush, turning his head to look up at him. “Thanks Gabe; I really overdid it yesterday.”

“Yeah, ya think? We were supposed to meet Donna after dinner and you were supposed to call Dean before bed. He’s been calling non stop since six.” To illustrate his point, the phone rang just that moment. “Three guesses who  _ that _ could be.”

“Shit.” He hauled ass back into the room, picking up the phone just before it hit voicemail. Gabe shut the double doors behind him, rummaging around their toiletries for Aspirin. They’d gone on so many hunts together the past year, they no longer had two seperate bags for razors and shampoo, Gabe ‘investing’ in a huge bag with full sized… everything so they wouldn’t have to constantly re-pack. Sam called it ‘a hot mess’, but he would admit one day that it actually saved them some time. “One day,” he muttered, grabbing the red toothbrush and doing something about his morning breath.

When he finished, Sam was dressed for the day, going in to brush his own teeth. “What’d he say?”

Sam rinsed and spat, opening the door so they could talk. “There’s been a rift open in Boulder, he thinks maybe that’s something, but it’s kind of a leap.”

“Hmm. Well,” he fiddled with his phone a moment, thinking. “It’s an option, but I wouldn’t pin it down on that. More than likely, Josephine’s a serial killer or a demon and we waste her, then we sip pina coladas by the pool.”

“It’s  _ May,  _ Gabriel.”

“That…. That it is.” He closed out the email app on his phone, pocketing it before Sam could see anything. “I still stand by the idea though.”

The guests had some music pumping next door, and they unconsciously bopped to the beat as they moved around one another fluidly, getting their shit ready. Dean had given him his own EMF meter, small enough to be clipped to the inside of his belt without giving too much away. Sam held the gun,  _ always,  _ and they both had a knife somewhere on them. “Most couples check each other’s teeth, not weapons.” He bent over to tie his shoe, a tap on his shoulder bringing him back up.

Sam held his chin in his hand, making him open his mouth in surprise. “Nope, your teeth are good. How are mine?” He flashed an exaggerated smile, forcing a laugh out of the angel.

The rest of the morning would have been fine if that was their biggest problem of the day. 

The O'Connell's were waiting for them, Sam doing his best fake hungover face to get away from them, the cool couple they were meant to apologize to missed breakfast, and Gabe’s eggs were burnt.  _ Twice. _

“I’m just saying, if I have to face all the bullshit of being human, I demand some fucking  _ good food.”  _ Sam just chuckled humorlessly at him. He stuck his tongue out, giving zero regard for the couple next to them giving them the stank eye. “What are you even eating? It’s breakfast - bacon time! Why are you eating oatmeal?”

Sam shrugged. “It’s good.”

He rolled his eyes. “But you can have that at the bun- at  _ home _ whenever you’d want. You can get eggs benedict, or made to order waffles, or even a crepe! When was the last time you gave a crepe, Sam?”

Sam chuckled, genuine this time, thankfully. “You’re ridiculous. I’m eating this cuz the O'Connell's think I’m hungover, and hungover people can’t enjoy their food, so…”

“Ah!” Gabe nodded. “Gotcha.” He downed the rest of his coffee, sweet and strong. “We’ll have to pinch some of this for the way home, it’s damn good. Far better than that Starbucks shit I bought last week.” Sam nodded along, sipping his own. “So, what’s on the list?”

He cleared his throat, opening the pamphlet. “First, we have ‘art appreciation’ at ten in presentation room one, then group therapy in the…  _ rainbow room? _ That can’t be right. Can it?”

Gabriel shrugged. “I dunno, maybe? We  _ are _ at a gay, wizard of oz themed retreat. How about lunch?”

“Right after therapy.”

“Okay, and then?”

“Uh…. oh. No,  _ no _ . Not happening.”

“What?”

Sam sneered. “Hiking. We  _ hike _ all the time. I don’t feel like doing that. Think we can hide in the room for that? Claim emotional distress from the art and therapy?”

“Whatever you want,  _ Aisuru _ ”

He threw a sugar packet at his face. “Shut up. What do  _ you _ want?”

“I  _ want _ Trent to stop staring at you like you’re a piece of meat.” He whipped his head around to glare at Trent who was, by no surprise, staring at Sam while his  _ own husband _ was chattering away next to him, completely ignored. Trent locked eyes with Gabe, a slicing motion on the latter’s throat caused the ginger to pull back and avert his gaze. He turned back to an amused Sam. “What?”

“Jealous?” He asked, a smirk playing at the edges of his mouth. 

Gabe scoffed. “He made you so uncomfortable yesterday you drank  _ two entire bottles of wine _ , and now you’re faking a hangover so he doesn’t come around. Last I checked, I think it’s fair I give him the stink eye, or bitchface number 12.”

“You numbered my bitch faces?”

“Uh.. yeah? We  _ all _ have?”

Sam put his coffee down. “Woah, what? Even mom?”

Gabe smirked. “Who do you think came up with the chart?”

“Unbelievable.” He shook his head, finishing his coffee and swiping a banana off the table. “Let’s go before we get yelled at for being late. And don’t think for one second,” he pointed at his fake husband’s face, “that I’m letting the ‘bitch face chart’ go.” He stood and left Gabriel to his own breakfast, shuffling quickly to catch up. 

————————

“I want you to  _ feel  _ the clay beneath your hands as… as an extension of your very soul, your very  _ essence.” _

“The only thing extending from my soul are my wings, and alas, it wouldn’t be appropriate to spread them here,  _ Barbra _ ”

Sam tried to stifle his laughter. Gabriel had been whispering side comments about their art teacher ever since they sat down. She was a bit eccentric, with her long grey hair loose around her face, baggy boho dress and chunky jewelry on both ears and her neck, wrists free so she could dig around in the clay with them, while she hummed loudly to herself. Sam honestly couldn’t remember her name, Gabriel calling her Barbra in their side conversation got stuck in his head, so he just went with it. He just hoped he wouldn’t accidentally say  _ that _ out loud. 

The class was mandatory for every couple, and he tried to get out of it so he could snoop around for clues, but no dice. He knew he wouldn’t be good at this, he knew he would get angry with his clay before it even had half a shape, he knew he would eventually throw the thing away. But Gabriel was right next to him, throwing comments to make him laugh, make him smile, and he thought maybe this would be better. Maybe this is how they get info from the other guests. They  _ had  _ been keeping to themselves a bit more than necessary, avoiding questions, or as Gabe liked to put it, “remaining mysterious.”

“We’re not  _ that _ mysterious.” Sam mumbled, hands gently shaping the spinning slab of mud on his wheel. “But it  _ does _ seem to be working. Behind you; we have admirers.”

Gabe turned around, pretending to be looking outside before oh so casually glancing in the direction of the same cool  couple from the parking lot. “Hey guys. How’re you liking the class?”

“Oh, it’s great!” The pink haired man replied. “I never got to do this as a kid, I moved around a lot, growing up so we were never in one place long enough. I thought I’d hate this but it’s pretty relaxing.”

Gabe nodded at the man, appreciating how his dark skin contrasted with the bright pink locks, eyes maybe spending too much time admiring his biceps. “Well; you look like you  _ both  _ are pretty good at this.”

“Thanks! Yuri here went to art school before going into horticulture.”

“Really? Lucky.”

Yuri laughed. “I don’t think having twelve thousand dollars of debt would be called ‘lucky’ but I’ll take it. It  _ has _ come in handy in identifying plants, I’ll admit that. What about you guys? Uh… Gabe and Sam, right?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, good to meet you.” Sam extended his hand out to shake before realizing it was covered in clay water. “Oops! Ah, sorry about that.”

“Psh! No worries. I didn’t expect to leave this class without some paint or clay on these clothes anyways. I’m Yuri, and this hunk of a man is Lance.”

“Like… Lancelot?”

Lance laughed. “Yup! My mother absolutely loves kind Arthur stuff. No clue why, but whatever. It’s a good conversation starter.”

Gabe nodded. “Yeah, my old man was  _ super _ into religion, so I get it.” 

Sam snorted.  **_This_ ** **_fucking guy_ ** , he thought.  **_Only_ ** **_this_ ** **_fucking guy could make a joke like that._ ** **_Unbelievable_ ** **_._ **

“What about you Sam? What are your parents like?”

“Uh….” Sam looked down at his clay, his finger accidentally going through the side of the bowl. 

Lance hummed. “I get it. Not everyone’s parents accepts them for themselves or their sexuality. Yuri’s parents weren’t exactly thrilled when I proposed, so it’s no surprise when it happens to other people.”

“Yeah, well  _ your  _ family accepted you almost instantly, so don’t start.” Yuri raised an eyebrow in challenge. 

“Ugh! Okay, okay. Sorry Sam. Guess it’s not something you like talking about, huh?”

“No, it’s okay, it’s just… my dad was pretty homophobic; he was a marine before he met mom. He was… not a good father. My brother sometimes pretends like he was, I don’t get  _ why _ but… he died a while back, so that’s okay. I know it’s not  _ okay  _ like I’m okay with how he treated- I’m just okay with his passing. Mom wasn’t really in our lives until a few years ago, and she’s more open minded than I expected. She’s actually pretty great with  _ this _ part of parenthood.”

The other three were quiet for so long that he had to look up. “What?”

Yuri shook his head. “You talk like whatever your father did to you was small fry, so I have a hard time believing you are ‘okay’. No offence” 

“No, it’s just…” he shrugged. “I’ve been through worse.  _ We’ve _ been through worse.” At the awkward pause in conversation, he added: “We’re veterans.”

“Oh!” Yuri’s face lit up. “That’s right! Oh.” His face fell a little. “You… you guys must have faced a  _ lot  _ over there, I’m sorry. Thank you for your service.”

Gabe scoffed. “You don’t know the half of it.” He licked his lips, hands stopping the lopsided vase he was making. “I- I actually should be the one apologizing to you. I was caught off guard yesterday in the parking lot, and I… I’m still having a hard time with strangers that don’t want to kill me.” He laughed hollowly. “I… I shouldn’t have run away, shouldn’t have acted like that. I’m very sorry, and if you’d be down with it, I’d love to buy you drinks to make up for it.” 

Yuri smiled, Lance laughed. “The sentiment is nice, but the drinks are included dude.” 

“Rats!” He snapped his fingers, clay spraying on himself. “Oh, raspberries. My shirt’s all ruined now.” He mocked a frown. 

Sam huffed. “You hate that shirt.”

“I really do.”

They laughed, earning a look of annoyance from the art teacher. Once she was looking elsewhere, Lance resumed their conversation. “Was it hard? Hiding your relationship during  _ don’t ask, don’t tell?” _

“We actually didn’t  _ have  _ a relationship until recently.” Sam muttered. 

“It took you guys  _ twelve years _ before you got together? Damn.”

Sam shook his head, slowing his progress on what would surely end up a door stopper. “We only met in passing a few times before Gabe… he um…”

“I was a POW.” He offered.  **_It’s not like it’s a_ ** **_total_ ** **_lie._ **

Yuri took a second to process. “P.O. … oh. Prisoner Of War. Yikes! That’s awful, Gabriel. How.. how long?”

“2010. A double agent found me last year and brought me home. Sam.. Sam took care of me. Reminded me why I… why I went to war. Why I risked my life for this slab of dirt.” He looked into Sam’s eyes, a powerful emotion there that Sam wanted desperately to ignore. “It was… he made recovery easier. I barely made it through. He… he’s kinda like a guardian angel.”

Sam burst out into laughter, drawing the looks of every other person in the room, but he couldn’t help himself. Of  _ course _ Gabriel would crack a joke in the middle of a heartfelt remark. 

“Gentlemen! I see you like gossip, but this should be an individual exercise, not a team effort.”

“Sorry Barbra! We’ll behave.” Sam wanted to smack himself in the face, and if his hands were free, he would.  **_You fucking moron_ ** . 

She stared them down, a pinched look of annoyance on her face. “It’s Meadow. Anyways…”

It was Gabe’s turn to chuckle. “I can’t believe you fucking did that!” He whispered. 

“You were the one making side comments and shit! I forgot her fucking name cuz of you!”

“Me?! You’re the one that could have just said ‘sorry ma’am’!”

Sam pulled a face at him, tempted to stick his tongue out too if he weren’t in a room of ten other people. 

“You two are  _ so  _ married.” They turned their attention back to Lance who seemed to not care about what Bar-  _ Meadow _ said. “Any advice for two engaged guys?”

“We’re not exactly poster kids for a perfect marriage. I mean… we’re here.” He held up hands to the three others. “No offence.”

“None taken. We only came here cuz we hear about this place from our friends Carol and Denise.”

Sam’s interest piqued. “Carol and Denise… Feinberger? The couple that died?”

“Yeah… poor things.” Lance shook his head. “They frankly lived longer than we thought they ever would, but it’s still bitter sweet.” 

Gabe dug deeper, turning his body to face him better. “What do you mean?”

“They both had stage four breast cancer. They actually met in a support group. Life’s funny that way.”

“Oh. I thought police said there was foul play?” Gabe tilted his head in thought. “It wouldn’t be exactly the first time someone tried to go after someone in the community.”

“Yeah, they thought maybe there was because Denise had cracked ribs, but it turned out that Carol had tried to give her CPR, but her heart gave up before she could get-“ Yuri took a shuddering breath. Tears welled in his eyes and Sam knew, he  _ knew _ this was not a lead anywhere. 

“I’m so sorry, guys. We didn’t know. We just read about it and we immediately thought there was a violent element to it.”

Lance waved them off, a clay covered hand laying on top of his fiancé’s. “Nah, it’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay that they’re gone, but I get where you’re coming from. Honestly, I thought the same thing at first, but there wasn’t any evidence of any foul play, and the cop who handled the case isn’t someone who would mess around on this.”

“You know the officer?” Sam’s entire hand went through his piece in excitement. “Ah, shit. Guess I’m making us an abstract piece.” Gabe snorted a gentle laugh, one of the few genuine laughs he rarely let out. 

“It’s not… that bad. And yeah, we know most of the officers there. We live In Lincoln, right across from the stadium. Half the guys on the force grew up in my neighbourhood.” Lance bit his lip, clearly saying too much. Gabriel narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Just… it’s not right, all these people dying. It just… reminds me that we’re not all there yet on the up and up. But… it’s worth it to fight.”

Sam nodded. He wanted to say something else, but the familiar feeling of eyes on him made him pause, turning his head to catch one half of a couple staring at them, nervous smile on her lips as she turned away. 

When they left the art class, he pointed as much to Gabriel, who nodded along and invited the couple to join them for dinner afterwards, only to be turned down with a single ‘no’ and a fast walk in the opposite direction. “Well that was weird.” He looked down at his disgusting shirt. “Think it was all the clay that threw them off?” 

Sam snorted. “No, but we better let Donna know about both of them just in case.” He took a sip of his water before adding, “even if it weren’t, they’re lesbians and they probably don’t see you as charming like ‘other women’ do.” Sam pulled his hands down from air quoting and smirked. 

“I hate you sometimes.”

“No you don’t.”

He rolled his eyes, taking Sam’s offered hand. “No I don’t.” He muttered, Sam laughing above him as they meandered over for a quick snack before heading to group therapy when he spotted them, a woman and a man, both hushed tones near the staff entrance to the kitchen. He tugged Sam against a wall, both peering over to see the receptionist Josephine arguing with the bartender about something. They couldn’t make out much, save for her calling him a ‘ _ two faced ingrown toenail _ ’ and walked off. 

Scurrying to get away from being arrested by the police for eavesdropping, Sam pulled Gabe into a hug, whispering “hug me back” before arms wrapped around him. It worked out for them - Few people pay much attention for PDA. “They were awfully suspicious looking, don’t you think?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah.” Gabe pulled away from him sheepishly. “Yeah, definitely. I think our group is ready.” He pulled himself away and carefully extracted himself from Sam’s grasp and walked to the rainbow room, face red from the heat of the room.  **_Yup. just the heat. In May. In Colorado. Dad-dammit!_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should be fininished writing and have the rest of this posted by May 27th 2018 if all else goes well.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's birthday and sharing a bed!... but first, group therapy and a good cry

“We’re going to work on how we communicate.” Their group therapy counselor Wanda was the exact opposite of Meadow: well kept hair, her clothing modern and fashionable with acrylic nails manicured perfectly. Her dark skin had no wrinkles, no moles or marks of any kind and if Sam hadn’t seen her walk in with a limp, he’d think she was a witch who sacrificed all those couples for eternal youth and beauty. Instead, she was just some young 30-something warm therapist who was going to attempt to get them to cry or something. “Let’s start with you two. Gabe, what is something that’s been bothering you about Sam?”

He huffed, sinking in his chair to get comfortable for the hour. “Ugh. Where do I start? For one thing, he keeps trying to dress me like I’m his personal mannequin.” He tried for pettiness, hoping that Sam knew there was no actual malice in his tone. 

“What? No I don’t!” Sam confused look showed how much he failed. “When have I ever done that?”

“When we were in Old Navy not  _ three days _ ago! You keep trying to get me to wear plaid and flannel, and that’s fine in the fall, but it’s  _ May _ , Sam.  _ Maaaaaay _ .” He should have stopped there, really he  _ knew  _ that. But… but there was always some part of Gabriel that wanted to kick the hornet's nest, to throw shit against a fan, and that apparently wasn’t going away now. “And you’re always letting your brother shit on you - emotionally, obviously - and always put some kind of onus on yourself like it’s  _ your  _ fault that he’s in a bad mood.”

“But I-“ Sam tried. It’s not easy to try cutting off an archangel, full grace or not. 

“And you’re  _ always _ trying to sacrifice yourself for other people, like last month with the…  _ thing _ , the, the, _uuuuhhh_ ,” he snapped his fingers, “tweaker!” Sam was so sure Gabe would crack and mention ‘werewolf’ out loud; thankfully he was surprised. “That tweaker was coming towards me and you leapt in front of me, no weapon or anything to defend yourself with, and he  _ stabbed _ you. Sam…” he trailed off, anger drained and deflating. 

“Sam,” the counseled looked to him.  “Is there something you want to say to your husband?”

**_Not my husband._ ** “I don’t know where this is all coming from.”

Gabriel scoffed. “Wow, really?  _ Really? _ Well maybe it’s because I keep my mouth shut when something bothers me because I don’t know what to say!”

“That’d be a first,” he muttered. Gabriel heard him and hit him on the bicep in frustration. “Hey!”

“Okay, okay,” Wanda raised a hand to get them to calm down. “Alright, so it seems to Gabriel, that he doesn’t feel like he can come to you with these issues because you don’t listen.”

“It’s not that I don’t listen, it’s that he doesn’t tell me anything until it’s too late. I’m sick of it.” Wanda raised her hand towards him again, shushing him with her eyes.  **_Maybe not best to do this in front of ten other people._ ** He thought. “Sorry.”

“Sam. Gabriel is hurt. When people come from a place of hurt, the first emotion seems to be anger.” Sam nodded. “It’s important we deal with that anger in healthy ways, like cooling off before coming back and finishing a conversation like equal partners, not an argument where you’re both trying to get the upper hand. Can we try again?” 

He nodded, taking a deep breath in. “Gabe, you know when we met that I was kind of a martyr, and then you died - I thought  _ you died  _ \- I changed only for the worse. You’re right, I’m not good at taking care of myself or other people sometimes, but I promised you I’d look out for you, and did I lie?”

“No,” Gabe shook his head. “No, you haven’t lied to me yet.” 

“Exactly, I didn’t. And D- the thing with my brother… he’s going through a lot, all the time.”  **_Why am I talking so much?_ ** “He doesn’t talk about it so I feel like I have to be around to make sure he doesn’t... Gabe,” he reached across to hold the angel’s hand, Gabriel didn’t flinch or pull away.  **_What the_ ** **_hell_ ** **_am I doing?!_ ** “I never told you that when we thought  _ your _ brother died, mine was… suicidal.” Gabe looked up with confusion on his face but said nothing. “He- he stole drugs from a hospital and he injected himself with potassium chloride and I had to-“ Sam choked off a sob.  **_Don’t you fucking cry in front of these people,_ ** he thought. **_Not here. Not now._ ** “I had to stab him in the heart with adrenaline… he… he’s been-“ Sam covered his mouth with his free hand, dropping it a second later. “I’m so scared for him Gabe,  _ for  _ him, not  _ of  _ him. I’m scared he’ll try something again, and he won’t get help - you know that. I can’t- I can’t go on living knowing that I cou- I could have- I could have stopped him from-“ Gabriel stood from his chair, embracing Sam snuggly. Sam started to cry; he couldn’t hold it back anymore. Decades of  _ awful _ all piled up and finally spilling over. Big hot tears rolled down his face and into Gabe’s shirt. 

“Shh.. it’s okay. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You had just- that  _ trauma _ you went through- and then you came home and there was always  _ something.  _ I didn’t know how.” 

“Well, now you will.”

Sam nodded, dropping his eyes. “Okay.”

Gabriel grabbed his chin, pulling it up so Sam would follow his eyes, warm and softer than he’d ever seen them before. “I mean it. I’m not letting you go around trying to sabotage your own life just to keep me in the dark for.. what? Because I’m fragile? I’m many things,  _ Aisuru _ , but you know I’m stronger than I look.”

Sam smirked. “Yeah. Yeah, you really are. I’m sorry. And you’re right, I should be telling you. You-“ he took a shuddering breath. “You’re my best friend.”

Gabriel had no response, he’s never been a best or a favourite  _ anything  _ to anyone before. Not brother, not uncle, not even favourite pain in the ass. 

“Sam,” Wanda brought the focus back onto her. “Your brother, he has depression, yes?”

Sam nodded. “He’s got PTSD to, and a drinking problem. He’s been… he pretty much raised me cuz our parents… weren’t really around. I don’t remember a day he was sober last. It- he’s trying to deal with his own internalized, um, homophobia. He’s actually in love with  _ his _ brother.” He pointed to Gabriel.

He laughed. “More like half brother. And they’re both ga-ga over each other, and doing absolutely  _ nothing  _ about it. Sam gets caught in the crossfire which… doesn’t help. I’m sorry,”  **_fuck it._ ** He brought a hand to his face to wipe away the tears gently. “I’m sorry about not being there, but I’m most sorry that you didn’t think you could come to me with your problems. Relationships aren’t supposed to be one sided.”

Sam nodded, grasping Gabe’s wrist and holding him there.

“What about you Gabriel?”

“Huh? Oh, PTSD  _ definitely _ but no drinking problem, mostly cuz De- this hulking hunk’s brother drinks it all, but I’m coping. Sam taught me some breathing exercises. They... help?” He shrugged. “It’s all new to me. I just-” He stared at the floor, trying to find the right words. “I need to know he’s taking care of himself, and not just everyone else. I can’t sleep until he’s already asleep, and I’m always scared the hu-“ his lips pressed into a thin line, he counted his breaths in, then out. “I know we’re not in war anymore, but it still feels like it. Like, one day some…  _ monster _ will take him away from me.”

“Preach!” They startled to see Danika raise her hands up. “Always scared someone will take Megan from me. Some homophobic ableist prick to decide that her life isn’t worth something to him.” 

He nodded, knowing that while they were talking about two separate kinds of monsters but understanding the end result was much the same. They listened, not to things that might lead them to clues, but hearing the stories: the conversion camp survivors, the kids who got kicked out by their parents only to find real family in the community, the oldest couple there well into their sixties talking about all they lost in the AIDS crisis. Each story was more heartbreaking than the last, reminding them that they still had a job to do. No way were they letting any of these people work out their biggest fears and problems only to end up dead in their beds three days later.

On their way to lunch, Gabriel stopped June, the only one of them wearing a cross necklace. “June, I know you grew up in the deep south, and you probably don’t want anything more to do with your religion, but in case you still lay up at night worried about it, I want you to know that God is totally indifferent to sexual orientation, gender identity, or any kind of attraction.” Sam could see the tears in the young woman. “Take it from me, I know the guy personally.” He winked, just cocky enough to make it off as a joke, but not enough to make her wary.

She chuckled. “Thank you. It’s nice to hear that from ‘an angel’.” They smiled and she pulled him into a hug. “Thank you, really. It’s- it’s hard to leave it behind, no matter how much it hurts.”

Gabe nodded, serious as he hugged back. “I know exactly how you feel; maybe more than you know.”

When she let go, she skipped over to her girlfriend, short hair flapping behind her. She bent down to kiss her, pushing Laura’s wheelchair towards the dining room.  

“You okay?” Sam’s hand was a comfort on his shoulder, grounding him to earth. He shook his head, not trusting his voice. “Okay. Let’s go back to the room and order lunch there instead. We can stay in and watch a movie?” He nodded, already starting his way over there.

Trent popped up around the corner, clearly waiting for them for some time, but a small flick of his hand and the waterfall wall spurt a little water up into his face, stopping him. Sam smirked with him at Trent’s confusion, knowing full well he deserved worse. 

With everyone out to lunch, Donna easily snuck into their room without anyone noticing, laptop in hand and booted up. “Okie dokie, so turns out there are three things going on here: one, the front desk lady, Josephine? Yeah, on a  _ lot  _ of drugs. Like, at least meth and cocaine. Maybe heroin too, lady’s got track marks like a Nascar match. Two: the bartender’s been arrested a few times with possession with intent to sell over the past ten years. I’m guessing he’s Josephine’s dealer. Three: the coffee here is totally just Starbucks, they just put it in different containers, FYI.” Sam sputtered his coffee, betrayed by the bean. “Sorry to break that to ya. I got hold of the crime scene photos from the police stations here, in Boulder, Portland and SAN Fran. I’m gonna email them to you now, maybe you’ll find something they missed. I haven’t gone over them all yet since the last were emailed to me an hour ago. Also, this can’t be a ghost, or a shifter, cuz the tapes are clean. Except for your walking last night Sam-bo!” Donna snort laughed at him, Gabriel joining her.

Sam groaned. “You don’t get it Donna, they were  _ so bad! _ One was asking really uncomfortable questions and the other was trying me on for size like it’s a swingers retreat. I still can’t believe he said that, either! Like, ‘ _ what kind of gays are you?’ _ ” He mimicked. “Like there’s only  _ one  _ way to be gay! Fucking rude.”

“Oi! Language!”

“Yeah Samsquatch! Language! We have a lady present. One who could probably kick your a-s-s if you tried her.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “I was hoping if I drank enough, I’d puke on him and he’d leave us alone.”

“Welp, that didn’t work out.” She clicked some things on her laptop. “Also, best you keep away from them.”

“You think they’re part of this?”

“No, but I think they might be white supremacists. I overheard them saying some stuff about the couple you were buddying up to after the art class.  _ Not _ kosher, no sir. So i checked them out online, and that Trent guy? Yep. Not great facebook posts on  _ that _ one’s wall. Chad seems clean… for now.”

“Oh, you  _ don’t say? _ Gabe propped his chin on his hands intreguide. “Hmmm… what could we do… to some racist pieces of s-h-i-t.”

“Are you spelling cuss words on my behalf?”

“Of course, m’lady.”

Donna snorted. “Ah, I don’t know why Dean-o says you’re hard to be around! He’s such a grumpy puss. Has he and uh…. Ya know?”

Sam shook his head, stabbing lettuce to shovel into his mouth. “Nope. Still nada.”

“Gah! Well I’m going to lose the bet.”

“Bet?” Gabriel dropped the phone in his hands. “What bet?”

Sam swallowed his lettuce, pointing a fork towards him. “Since you were gone… the first time, uh, we started a little bet. Well, it started actually with me and Jo when she… was alive. But um, then it sorta… spread?”

“Okay, okay, okay, so what are the conditions? How much can we bet and what are the parameters?’

“You serious?”

Gabriel made a weird motion with his hands in frustration. “You won’t let me prank anyone and your brother is annoyed the every living fu- funnel cakes outta me-”

“Nice save.”

“Thanks. I want in.”

“Okay, so when Kevin was alive, we had a fifty dollar minimum, and you have to pick a time frame, a specific one less than six months, cuz, otherwise it’s not fair. Extra points if you guess  _ how _ it’ll happen. Like, Jody had it down for…. What was it?”

Donna snapped her fingers and pointed at him. “Dean slipping out a ‘baby’ instead of a ‘buddy’. I thought that was clever.”

“Yeah.” He pointed back. “And mom has-”

“Your  _ mom _ ? Damn, Mrs W is a ride or die bitch.”

“Language!” Donna snapped. 

Sam threw a pillow at his head. “Dude! Don’t call my mom that!”

“Sorry, sorry, go on.”

“Anyways, mom bet that Dean would be super overwhelmed with seeing Cas - either of them  _ probably _ almost dying - and Dean would say something stupid like ‘I’m so happy I could kiss you,’ and then they kiss.”

Gabriel considered that as he sipped his coffee. “Sooo… we’re only basing this on a kiss? No, bow-chicka-wow-wow?”

“No. Matching hickeys the next morning is also a thing you can bet on.”

“Okay, give me a second.” He chewed his wrap in thought. “Hmm… okay, I’m gonna bet my money on their anniversary, in that dirty old barn, Cas making the first move.”

Donna and Sam stared. “That’s… specific. Wait, you know their anniversary?” She turned to Sam in confusion. “They  _ have _ an anniversary?”

“Uh… no?”

“The day Dean was yanked from hell, Sam! And every angel heard him, he yelled it loud enough.” He rolled his eyes, annoyed. 

“ _ You _ heard him?”

“Yeah, kid got through to me even though I cut off angel radio millenia before. Every angel remembers that day. Also, the days you and Dean were born. It’s impossible to forget…  _ birthday boy!” _

“It’s your birthday!” Donna exclaimed. “Oh, Sam! Why didn’t you tell me? I would have liked to have gotten you something!”

Sam shook his head. “No thanks Donna, I appreciate it, but I wasn’t going to mention it until after the hunt. I’d rather celebrate once everyone’s safe.”

She nodded. “Oh, but this is so exciting! We’ll have to get the kitchen to get you a cake, and-”

“Fake ID, fake birthday.”

“Ooooohh… right. Right, right, right. Ah, okay then. Guess i’ll have to smuggle some cake out later.”

He rolled his eyes, saying nothing. He ate the rest of his lunch, adding tidbits from their day, especially Josephine arguing with who turned out to be the bartender before therapy, conveniently leaving out their own sharing and their tense hug in the hallway. Soon, their lunch was over, Donna slipping out to go back to her post, and Gabriel took Sam up on his word, turning the TV on to the movie channel and picking something on random. 

Gabriel had been gone so long he was behind in  _ so many _ movie franchises, Sam delighted he could show him Pacific Rim and Jurassic World. Gabe had a lot of comments on each movie, very opinionated on how dumb it was to run away “from a dinosaur in  _ fucking heels! _ Just kick them off woman! Can you believe this shit, Sam? Ugh! Dumb. super dumb. You’re a  _ scientist _ for Pete’s sake!” 

The day passed quickly, neither of them aware of the time until Dean texted him an hour before the dining hall closed. Sam shrugged, ordering food in, neither of them wanting to move.

“Dean says it’s unlikely the rift.” Sam put down the room’s telephone with a clack. “He says mom and Cas think its a ghost possessing one of them, or maybe a couple who died here violently at each other’s hands taking revenge. But… the more we talk about this, the less I know. Maybe we should go over the photos again and…  _ guess? _ I hate this.” He rubbed at his tired eyes, Tony Stark arguing with Rhodie on the screen. “I just… I friggin’ hate this.”

Gabriel hummed. “How about process of elimination then?” Sam nodded. “Okay, so no leviathan, not a vampire, or a striga.”

Sam pulled his laptop closer, thankful for Charlie giving him the program she created before she died. He checked off the unlikely possibilities with one hand. “Okay, not a werewolf - sorry, sorry, I meant  _ tweaker _ .” Gabe shoved at him playfully. “Okay, okay. So not a wendigo, not a djinn… right?”

“Definitely right. Never knew one that would ever kill their victims that fast.”

Sam hummed. “How about… no, ghouls eat the dead. They wouldn’t leave anything behind if they could help it.”

“Could be a shifter- no… wait, Donna said the tapes were clean, and we’re not far enough into any forest for it to be an aswang, boy! That was a _ fun hunt _ , huh?”

Sam threw bitchface number 11 - his least favourite bitchface if he was being honest - and huffed. “No, I’m pretty sure me almost losing my leg doesn’t count as ‘fun’, Gabe.”

“But we fixed it! You still have a leg! And it’s better now that the scar tissue’s gone, huh?”

Sam looked down at the leg in question, rolling his foot in a circle to reaffirm that yes, he still had his leg and better mobility in it to boot. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Mmmmm… what about… “

“Not likely.” 

Back and forth they went, the program full of ‘X’s all over, not a single monster left on the list to be their possible killer. Sam slammed the laptop closed, dropping his face into his hands in frustration. “I hate this.”

“I know.”

“I hate this, I hate this, I. Hate. This. This was supposed to be easy, and now we’re fucking crying in therapy and have no idea what’s killed over ten people now! I just need some good news, just  _ one good thing!” _

There was some shuffling around, then a thin white box was being pressed into his arm. He looked down at it in shock, Gabe pushing it further towards him. “Go on, open it!” Sam just stared. He hadn’t gotten a present for his birthday that wasn’t a lap dance from his brother in… far too long to think about. It wasn’t a large box, maybe a couple of fivers or some scratch cards could be hiding under the lid, nothing more. “You  _ do _ remember how to open a box, right?”

Sam scowled, taking the box gingerly from his hands. “Thanks. Um… what is it?”

Gabriel stared back, face dumbfounded. “You open the box to find out, remember?”

“Shut up.” There was no paper to rip, no ribbon to slide off, just the thin lid to pop off, two tickets sitting in the bottom half. “I… I don’t understand. Wha….. what is this?”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, a dramatic sigh ripped from his throat. “They’re tickets to a concert, Sam. They’re a group that does video game music in an opera hall with a twenty one piece orchestra. They also do some theme songs to shows and movies to open it up, like Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings. Figured you might… I don’t know, like to go.”

“Oh. I… I didn’t know they did that. That’s- there’s two tickets here. Is the second one meant for you… or…?”

“Relax Sammich. It’s for you and Dean, hopefully after he works through his shit cuz they’re going to be in town in July. But if he’s still an ass and you want someone else to go…” he shrugged, going for nonchalant but Sam could see through the facade. He was chalant,  _ very _ chalant. “I’d be down. I’m sure Cas and Jack wouldn’t mind either. Or take you mom.”

Sam nodded, face soft and a small smile lit up his face. He stared at them, picking one up to see the seat and row number.  **_B 16 and 17. Shit, these are good seats. How did he afford these?_ ** “Thanks Gabe. Its -” he looked up, gently reaching out to hold the other’s hand. “It’s perfect. Really.  I just… I haven’t gotten a real birthday gift in a long,  _ long _ time. We were… we always hunting. Dean would get me ‘birthday pie’ and when I was old enough, sometimes a lap dance at the seediest strip joint he could find. I always got the dancers who didn’t want to be there.”

“Lemme guess,” Gabe put a single finger to his chin, faking contemplation, “You spent the whole time convincing them each to go back to medical school.”

Sam chuckled. “Pretty much.” he tried to stifle a yawn, the movie now forgotten. “Ugh. Bed time.”

“Uh… food first, where  _ is _ that waiter?” As if on cue, someone rapped their knuckles on their door, Gabriel standing to open it up. 

Sam paid his food half the attention he usually did, looking back between the screen and the tickets in the box for the rest of the night.

As they started to get ready for bed, Sam’s eyebrows knit together in confusion at Gabriel setting up the couch for the night. “Um… Gabe? You uh… you can sleep on the bed too, you know. If you want, I mean. The- there’s plenty of room.”

Gabriel stared up at him for a spell, eyes looking very carefully at Sam’s face, trying to find something specific. He must have found it. He took his pillows and blanket off the couch and dropped them - as well as his tired and sore ass - onto the side of the bed that he normally chose at the bunker. His breath came more quickly, heart pounding in his ears as Sam moved very cautiously behind him, sliding under the covers so slowly, it may have been an interpretive dance.

Gabriel cleared his throat, uncomfortable in the comfortable bed. “Did you mean what you said today?”

“Hmm? What?” Sam turned to face him. “Which part?”

“About Me… being your best friend.”

“Oh!” Sam nodded. “Yeah, yeah cuz you are.”

“That’s just  _ sad _ ,” he muttered under his breath, hoping Sam wouldn’t hear him. 

“What? No it’s not!”

“Yeah, it  _ is _ . You could have a  _ much _ better friend than me. What about Cas?”

“He’s great, really, but he’s more Dean’s friend than mine. Always was.”

Gabriel sighed. “They should just fuck and get it over with already. Their longing stares are going to make me want to set my eyebrows on fire.”

“Right?!?” Sam lay on his side, propping himself up with his elbow. “I’ve had to deal with that shit for  _ years _ . Almost ten fucking  _ years _ , Gabe. It’s getting to be too much! You know I tried locking them in a closet once.”

He turned quickly, mimicking Sam’s position. “No! Oh shit, tell me  _ everything!”  _

Sam spent the rest of the night telling Gabriel all the greatest hits, especially Cas popping into the bathroom while Dean was showering and - ahem - ‘taking care of business’. He fell asleep with a smile on his face and a weight off his chest. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> explicit description of what Sam went through in the cage (Approximation based off a nightmare I had)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised this earlier, I know, but I had a medical emergency and ended up in the ER a few weeks ago, and only just now feeling like a human being again instead of a mess of symptoms.

_ Hot. Too hot. It was way too hot to be in the bed, but he was too tired to give a shit, so he laid down anyways. This bed was always soft, always a comfort after a long day, especially with the sweet smell of their detergent. A single wet drop hit his face, eyes popping open and seeing her body, stomach cut away and hair a plastered mess.  _

_ “ _ You did this to me, _ ” her voice was hollow and spiteful, a scream ripped from her throat a second later. Her entire body caught fire, just as it had fourteen and a half years ago, but unlike the memory, Dean wasn’t there to pull him out. _

_ Sam looked down at himself to see his arms and legs shackled to the bed, the carpet and curtains catching fire. Then the pants, then his shirt. He struggled to get away, to keep from burning, but it wasn’t working. Every time he’d struggle, the strap around his ribs would tighten. The fire was on his temples now, his hair burning away, skin starting to feel raw and exposed.  _

**No no no no no! Not this again!** _ He thought _ **_._ ** **I can’t do this again! No no no no no-**

_ He screamed. He screamed and screamed and screamed, begging. Oh how he begged. Begged for water, to be let go, to “just stop!” But there was no stopping. There never was. He knew what was coming next, but no matter how many times it happened, it always hurt just as much as the last time.  _

_ Lucifer leaned over him, a giant bottle of vinegar in his hands. “Guess it’s time to make a little snack. Hmm… maybe I should make some coleslaw, but I don’t have any cabbage, so..” he taunted. “I guess I’ll just have to shred and season  _ **_you_ ** **.”**

_ The bottle of vinegar upended, spilling onto his charred, raw flesh, burning in a way the fire couldn’t. Lucifer laughed, laughed as he always did, like he did in the cage, and when he wore Castiel, and a thousand other different times, each as worrisome as the last.  _

_ When there was no vinegar left, he pulled out a pair of pulled pork ‘claws’. “Now, let’s see how tender and juicy you are, Sammy.”  _

 

He awoke with a scream, foreign hands grabbing his face to comfort him, only to be swatted away as he pulled away. A switch clicked and the room was illuminated. No Jessica or mom on the ceiling, no Lucifer, no demon or monster, just him and Gabriel. He let out a long shaky breath before laying back down.”sorry, it was just-“

“A nightmare. I get it. I have one almost every night but you were always there for me when I woke up. Let me do the same for you, please.” 

Sam shook his head, panic still in his throat.  **_I can’t do this. I can’t handle this._ ** An overwhelming feeling of failure sunk low in his gut, bile rising in his throat.  **_I shouldn’t have forgotten about him. I should have went looking. He wouldn’t have nightmares if I found him, if I got him away from Asmodeus. It’s all my fault. My fault. My fault my fault myfaultmyfaultmyfault-“_ **

As Gabriel moved close again, Sam jolted away, nearly falling off the bed had it not been for Gabriel’s arms around him. **_Gabriel’s arms?_** He struggled a little, Gabe shushing him in a calm, tender tone. It took a few moments to remind himself he was safe, he wasn’t in the cage anymore. He turned his head and cautiously relaxed. It was _just Gabe_. Gabriel who was holding him onto the bed, holding him in a weird leaning over position that couldn’t be comfortable. It wasn’t Lucifer wearing a Gabe mask, it wasn’t a hallucination either, it was 100% Gabe. Sam sunk back into his embrace, turning fully into it to bury his head under his chin. Without his permission, tears fell, soon sobbing openly into Gabe’s new-ish shirt. 

“It’s okay Sam, it’s okay.” He gently rocked the hunter, fingers combing his hair away from his face. “You’re safe now, it’s all over. It’s okay, you’re okay.” He kept rocking him until the sobs petered off, then stopped all together. Sam chanced a glance upwards and got a cheeky smile back. “Hey. It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, I’m here,” Sam burying his face back into Gabriel’s top, wrapping his arms tighter, shuffling so they were both completely horizontal. “I’m here.” 

He sniffed, mumbling a thanks as the panic attack left him, exhaustion weighing down his body. He slowly sank back into sleep on Gabriel’s chest, wondering if maybe the not-so-angelic-angel was using his grace, or if it was just being in the bed with him, having him around for comfort that made it so easy to fall back to sleep. Either way, he couldn’t care. 

 

***

 

The second  full day wasn’t much different than the first, except instead of art, their group of five couples for the day went to yoga and the others went to various other mandatory classes. 

Now, Sam liked yoga, it was something physically challenging for him that didn’t involve stabbing or running from something. It was just him and a mat. And Gabriel… apparently. 

“Now, inhale and reach your arms overhead, lengthening the spine, really feel for your partner sitting behind you. You should feel your partner gently press along your shoulder area. Now, deep breath in… 1, 2, 3, 4, and out…. 5, 6, 7, 8,  good. Now I want you to slowly twist to your right, and grab your partner’s left knee, keep your left hand on your own right knee. Hold for a count of ten.”

Sam did as instructed, moving slowly and methodically on the oversized rainbow mat they shared. He was fluid and strong and totally loving the ability to do this without Dean ribbing him about it. Gabriel, however, was having a little trouble reaching his partner’s knee. 

“Need some help?” The instructor, Lennard, squatted in front of him, a gentle look of total calm on his face. 

Gabriel scowled. “His knee is further from me than mine is to him. My arms can’t be  _ that _ short.” He could feel Sam’s chuckles on his back. “Hey, don’t laugh at me Sammich! This is serious!” 

“Alright, it’s probably a knot in the base of your spine.” The instructor smiled at him. “If you find you have problems with mobility in that area, you can all do this stretch.” He backed up to sit down three feet in front of Gabe. “Just reach forwards, walking your hands in front of you until…” he did as he described, showing the class how he walked his hands over until he was so stretched forward, his arms were straight and steady in front of him, top half of his body flat on his front as his legs lay upright, knee caps pointed to the ceiling, on the floor on either side of him. “You can do this with your partner too,” he motioned Gabriel to do the same. “It helps to have someone steadying you.”

He rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to be in his class, it was stupid to try to interview potential suspects when you’re supposed to be focused on your partner,  _ and _ he wasn’t as bendy as he should be.  **_Worth it_ ** , he thought,  **_if it means Sammy doesn’t have any nightmares_ ** . Sam would never know that Gabriel pushed some grace into the hunter in the wee morning hours so the man could sleep without fear. It was a terrifying thing, to be afraid to fall asleep. Without sleep, you begin to die faster than you would without food. He couldn’t just stand around and see it getting worse for his human.  **_Not_ ** **my** **_human_ ** . He sighed, nodding along to the instructor and proceeded to undo his pretzel legs to get into position. Sam’s hand fell from his knee, which Gabriel missed more than he’d ever admit, but was soon replaced on his lower back for support. Gabe moved carefully into Upavistha Konasana, aware of the strain on his shoulders and hips, fighting the burn and trying anyways. 

“Perfect! Now hold for a ten count, then let’s slowly walk our hands back to an upright position and we can move into the next pose.”

Sam helped him get back up, Gabriel more than a little embarrassed at the awkward angle and the need for a human to help him get up from a  _ yoga pose _ . A _ fucking yoga pose _ because why not? Why not be embarrassed by being an archangel who needed a human’s help to  _ sit upright.  _ **_Angel. Just a depowered regular angel now. Nothing special about me anymore._ ** He couldn’t help the intrusive thoughts, letting them wash over him and consume his thinking for a full minute before shaking them off and starting over. 

The class around them didn’t care though, each trying to get through the next pose carefully. Danika and Megan had some kind of bet or competition going on with June and Laura on who could do the pose the best, and Gabriel found it very amusing. Lance and Yuri seemed to be pros at this, and the last couple in the corner was thankfully struggling as much as he was. Not Sam though. No, Sam was in his element here, stretching in ways that made Gabriel both annoyed and intrigued. 

“Stop leaning so far away!” Sam hissed at him, grabbing at his hands to keep him steady. “It’s called buddy boat pose, not ‘buddy’s boat floated away and down into a waterfall, crashing into a boulder and killing sixteen’ pose.”

Megan snort laughed next to them, shaking her and Danika. “You guys really  _ are _ married. Like, super married.”

Gabe nodded. “Yeah, we are. He’s controlling and tells me how to do everything and I just have to do it!” He shot Sam a dirty look, leaning to the left to see him past their upright leaning legs pressed together. “Right,  _ honey? _ ”

“I do  _ not _ !” Sam scoffed at him. “Don’t be an ass, Gabe. We only have to hold this for twenty more seconds so hold on until then.”

Gabriel scowled the rest of the class, bending in ways he didn’t want to bend unless there was something sexy going to happen. He kept his mouth shut though. He knew he should listen instead of talk right then, especially to the people around them. Nothing pertinent to the case, but still…

“Want me to peel you off the floor?” Sam loomed over him, looking down at his fake husband unmoving from his starfish position on the floor. 

He groaned. “Yes!"

Sam was gracious enough not to laugh, but the shit eating grin was more than enough to make up for it. 

The door from the yoga room led to the rec hall - not much of a room as it was the open space between the registration desk and the multi purpose rooms andthe small gym. But whatever it was had a lot of seating, a stack of books, a grand piano, and - his favourite - a seventy two inch TV with several different video game consoles. While he wasn’t a champ of them by any means, he and Sam were on even footing for once and they absolutely decimated the other team with their combined points. They also did so one handed, eating their lunch as they climbed the leaderboard.

He pumped his hand up in victory as the other team lost. Again. “We should get this for home. Let your brother drown in ink when he loses.” Sam nodded beside him, hi-fiving him. 

They gave up their controllers to let Danika and Megan play, flopping down onto the bean bag chairs from the couch. Gabe was tired and cranky but he was content to just stare up at the ceiling with his eyes unfixed until their next activity. 

“Ugh, fucking  _ dirty man. _ ” Gabriel’s interest piqued, lifting his head up just enough to hear Trent’s conversation. “It’s disgusting really, how he pretends he’s not a man.” The creep was talking to someone on the phone, too far away for him to hear the other line, even with his ultra sensitive ears. “Ugh, I totally know, like, I  _ know _ , but what? What am I supposed to do? Go to the director and tell her that she’s got an  _ imposter  _ of a client? That she’s basically just letting a straight couple masquerade ab- No! Why would- I don’t want  _ Chad  _ to think that it’s  _ normal.  _ What am I supposed to do with this-” a crash from the art room covered most of what Trent said next, but he caught enough to be pissed. He attempted to sit up and tell him to  _ get fucked, _ only to get up in time to notice he was gone. 

“What’s going on?” Sam stood up next to him, looking off in the direction Trent had been in. “What was it?”

“Trent. On the phone, he said-“ Gabe shut his mouth, seeing June running her fingers through Laura’s hair, both of them gazing out the windows and talking softly. “He said some  _ things _ that were… I’ll tell you later.”

Sam moved closer, hot breath on his ear as he whispered “is this about the case?” Gabe nodded, mouth suddenly dry. “Okay, tell me about it in the room later.” 

He wanted to say something snarky back to him but the thought was fleeting, disappearing as soon as Sam sat back down.  **_Wow. I’m so suave._ ** He squared his shoulders and grabbed at Sam’s hand, yanking him back up into standing. “We really should take that hike. I know you hate it, but it’s important for us to see if there’s something lurking there.”

Sam reluctantly nodded, not in the mood but ultimately knowing that he was losing this battle no matter what he said. “Okay. But let’s go to the one that’s starting in…” he checked his phone for the time. “Three minutes before I change my mind.”

Thankfully the day was beautiful out, even if it was a little crisp out. The walk through the forest in the valley was offered daily, two different leaders depending on the day and weather conditions. Today, Lennard and Wanda met up with them on the back patio, next to the obnoxiously large water fountain wearing matching running outfits. Gabe wanted to roll his eyes, but he closed them for a second instead.  **_Stay focused_ ** , he reminded himself, grabbing a waterbottle from the table to the left of Lennard. They hadn’t bothered from changing out of their yoga clothes, looking pretty out of place from the rest of the group wearing name brand (probably used for the first time that day) running clothes - though for the ‘Freeleys’, sweat pants and a t-shirt was workout wear for any occasion, so the rest of them could  _ suck it _ . 

“Please help yourself to a water bottle,” Wanda’s voice broken through the chattering of the group. Quite a few people wanted to go on the hike, it seemed, Sam counting seven other couples amongst the two of them. “It’s not hot out, but the trail gets pretty steep. Unfortunately, the accessible trail we usually go on is closed for repairs after the last flooding we had earlier this spring, so if you have trouble with your balance, please stay behind. We’ll be stopping for snacks at the base, by the water, so let’s grab some and head on out!”

Lennard handed out granola bars and apples to everyone, Gabe sticking his apple in Sam’s pocket, the taller man scoffing at him. “Wouldn’t kill you to- “

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. But I’m not in the mood.” Sam looked over at the pouting man, wanting desperately to ask what he had overheard Trent saying, but they were whisked away by Yuri, Lance hot on their heels. 

Gabriel tried his best to schmooze with the other hikers, truly he did, but half of them were far too snooty to pay any attention to him in his sweats and Sam’s old Stanford track shirt, flannel tied around his hips, and the other half were already in intense conversations that he refused to break up, potential suspects or not. Sometimes, getting in between spouses could mean getting stabbed, and he already got stabbed once by an arguing couple in the parking lot of a Denny’s, so, no thanks. 

Sam, on the other hand, managed to chat up the other couple from yoga as he hung back with Yuri and Lance. Yuri’s job was actually very interesting, and he had a great time joking with Lance, pointing to every second plant and asking a very annoyed arborist if it was an oak or a maple. Yuri didn’t find Lance pointing to a patch of poison ivy and calling it a pine tree, promptly pushing him into it, only for Lance to find out it was harmless. 

“Bastard!” Lance yanked on his boyfriend’s pant leg, causing the other man to fall into Lance’s lap. “There, now we’re even.” Yuri pouted, but kissed Lance all the same. 

Gabriel smiled at their easy banter, looking around to find Sam, only to trip over something an end up face down in the dirt. “Ooof!” 

“Gabe? _Gabe_!” Lance called out, Sam immediately rushing to meet him. 

“Ouch. I’m okay, I’m okay.”

Sam ran his hands over his shoulders as he sat up. “Anything broken?”

“Just my pride.” Sam rolled his eyes, but chose not to comment. “What? It is. I tripped over a - a - what  _ is _ that?”

Sam cocked his head, fumbling in the dirt and pine needles with one hand, pulling up a large pendant the size of a tangerine. Part of the pendant had been broken off, some kind of rust or patina showing it had happened quite some time before. 

“Wait a second. I’ve seen this before.” Sam pointed aggressively at the curvy symbol on the pendant. “Come on, let’s get back to the room and check it out.”

“Right,” Gabe nodded, pocketing the necklace and hurrying up the steep climb. 

Shame they had bad luck. “You two okay back there? I’d think that two veterans like yourselves could do with a good hike.” They turned around, Lennard and Wanda gazing at them, waiting patiently for an answer.

Sam looked at Gabriel waiting for the shorter man to come up with an excuse, only for the latter to do the same. “We uh… um, have to make a call. To…. my um, my mom.”

Gabriel looked at him with displeasure and annoyance at the lack of effort. “Yeah, sure, let’s call it that.”

“Let them go bang it out!” They turned to find Lance with his hands cupped around his mouth, yelling. “Yuri and I did yes- ow!” Yuri hit him hard on the shoulder with the stick he was using as a support. “What? We did! It’s perfectly healthy for a couple to- ow! Okay, fine! We  _ didn’t. _ ”

Sam really wanted to laugh, but he also wanted Lance to live to see another morning, so he just turned on his foot and walked back towards the main house. 

He heard Gabriel behind him muttered something akin to “thanks for the hike” before catching up with him. “Slow  _ down _ Sambulance, geez!"

“Can’t catch up with those tiny legs of yours?” 

“Hey, I’m only seven inches shorter than you are!”

“Oh,  _ are _ you, now?” Sam couldn’t breathe from how hard he was laughing. 

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!” Bending down, he grabbed the nearest pinecone and tossed it at Sam’s head, only for the moose to duck last minute, the cone hitting a woman in the face. She yelped in surprise, her significant other jogging to catch up. “Oh shit….”

“Gabe!” He hissed. “How could you?”

“I didn’t m- it was meant  _ for you!" _

“That doesn’t make it any- wait, aren’t those the two who you tried talking to yesterday?”

Gabe looked back at them. “Oh, _shhhhhhhhhit_. Shit. Welp, there goes my second impression, huh?” He chuckled awkwardly, earning bitchface number 6 from his husband. **_Fake husband, FAKE_** **.** He exhaled audibly. “Help?”

Sam said nothing to him in response, choosing to walk over to the women instead. “I’m so sorry about that! My husband and I were joking around and I ducked at the last minute - the pinecone was meant for me - and we’d like to make it up to you. I could grab us drinks and we could sit on the patio in the back?” The redhead whom they’d hit stared him down with a fury he didn’t think he’d ever face from a human being who’d just been smacked in the face with a pinecone. Not that anyone ever expected it either. “Uh… I’m Sam, that’s Gabe.” He extended his hand to shake, but neither woman took him up on it. 

“I’m Areesa, this is Evanna, my girlfriend. Are you okay honey?” It was then that Sam noticed that Areesa had matched her hijab to her girlfriend’s workout gear, or vice versa. Evana nodded, casting her stank eye onto Gabe. “Honey, it was a misunderstanding. Evana and I actually have plans but I think talking while we walk back to the main house together is a good idea,  _ right? _ ” She elbowed Evana.

The red head turned back to her girlfriend, anger melting away. “Sure. Fine. Whatever.”

Areesa pursed her lips in discontent. “We talked about your one word responses….”

“Fine!” She picked up the pinecone and threw it at Gabriel who caught it easily, much to her displeasure. “Let’s walk with Sam and  _ Gabe  _ and talk about how Gabe’s aim  _ sucks _ ."

Gabe wanted to correct them on how his aim was just fine, thank you, but he kept his mouth shut for the sake of himself and Sam furthering their embarrassment for the day. “Sorry again Evanna. I’m not very good at making a good impression on people this week it seems.”

She chuckled dryly. “Ya don’t say.” 

Areesa sighed deeply, turning to Sam to whisper, “I for one thought it was pretty funny when Evanna thought he was trying to get us into a threesome the other day.”

“What?” He grabbed onto Gabe’s shoulder. “What the hell did you ask them?”

“To go for a drink!”

“Did you mention  _ me _ in that potential plan?”

“Yes! Wait…. Did I? Oh….” Understanding dawned on his face. “Oh. That’s- wow. I’m  _ really _ dropping the ball this week. Wow. I blame you.”

Confusion coloured his own features. “Me? Why me?”

“You were distracting me.”

“With  _ what?” _

Gabriel turned around to motion his entire being. “All...  _ that _ .”

“Gabe… that’s just me.”

Winking, he responded, “duh. You’re a  _ really _ attractive man. Thankfully the man I’m married to happens to be you, otherwise I might think about cheating on him  _ with _ you.”

Sam groaned, embarrassed to be anywhere near his fake husband.  

Areesa, however, was finding the entire exchange hilarious. “You two been married long?”

“No,” Gabriel dropped the pinecone, the path widening as they got closer to the steps. “It was recent.  _ Very _ recent. Known each other twelve years, though.”

“That explains it. So, who proposed?”

“I did.” Shame neither of them talked about this part during their little brainstorm session, so they may have avoided saying the exact same thing at the _ exact same time. _ Shame indeed. 

Sam rubbed at his temples. “It was a mutual decision, even though  _I_ asked  _ first. _ ”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever you say my  _ Aisuru. _ ” Sam scowled at the back of his head but said nothing, choosing instead to ask about Areesa and Evanna instead. While the walk was short to the main house, they found out that the two women both taught at the same elementary school for years before getting together, their mutual love for Scottish music despite neither being from nor ever visiting the country being what started their courtship, and the retreat marked their four year relationship with one another. If Sam didn’t know any better with how the ‘Freeley’s’ were being grilled, Areesa was good cop to Evanna’s bad cop.

They parted at the back patio, Evanna saying they had a ‘thing’ in town they couldn’t be late for, Gabe practically dragging Sam back to theirs. “A thing? A  _ thing? _ Yeah, okay.” He scoffed. He’d been doing it a lot all week. “I smell BS, Sammich, like, you’re here of all places and you gotta go  _ in town immediately _ ? Suuure….”

Sam closed their door firmly. “Yeah, heaven forbid they need to go into town for a doctor appointment, or get ibuprofen, or go see a play together or something. You’re on edge since after yoga. Is this about Trent?”

“No, but,” he practically ripped the flannel off his shoulders. “He was… oh my  _ dad _ , Sam, he’s a total bigoted dickbag who needs to have a cow dropped on him from the sky.”

Sam wanted to laugh, so badly did he want to laugh at the potential of Gabriel making a cow fall from the sky to kill Trent instantly. Probably could do it too, maybe already has to come other sap. “What did he say?” Gabe shook his head. “That bad?” He threw Sam’s flannel across the room in frustration. “Hey hey hey! Watch the flannel! That’s still my shirt.”

Gabe huffed. “Sorry, it’s just… he’s a racist, transphobic, ableist piece of  _ shit _ and I really  _ really  _ want to punch him the fuck out. Like, if no one was around, and we could get away with it, I’d pick him up by the scruff of his neck and toss him over the railing into the valley below. Let the buzzards feed off his entrails, maybe see him be alive when they do. He-” he took a deep breath, holding onto the edge of the fireplace mantel to steady himself. “I hope no one else was around to hear what he said because honestly? Everyone here came here to work on their relationships and on themselves and he’s ruining that and I just-”

“Hate him, yeah I know. Me too.”

He smiled, small and sweet. “This is why we work, my  _ Aisuru _ : we hate and judged the same people  _ together _ .”

“Pretty low bar.”

“Yeah, well at least there’s a bar.” He muttered. Kicking off his shoes, he grabbed Sam’s laptop and sat on the bed with it. “This symbol is really familiar to me too, I just… I can’t place it. Think this is what they mean by your mind going?”

Sam undressed to his jeans and tshirt as well, kicking his sweaty socks to the other side of the room. “I wouldn’t know, I’m not several millennia old.”

Gabriel shot him his own bitchface, replying with a short burst of hot air right in Sam’s mouth, breath still smelling like the hummus they ate for lunch. 

“Gross! Ugh,” Sam shoved him with minimum force, just enough to make the shorter of the two lean a touch to the side. “Don’t _do_ that. Okay, we should… yeah, in the symbols section.” He sat quietly, looking over his shoulder to see the screen. Gabriel scrolled through the images five at a time in their MOL database Charlie had started, frustration hitting a high point after ten long minutes. “Wait! Go back.” Gabe obliged and his mouth fell open. “Gabe.. Gabe, the necklace- look, it’s missing this top piece here… it’s-”

“A Daeva summoning mark. Ah, shit. That’s why it looked familiar. Well, this sucks. But Daeva don’t take out eyeballs.” He huffed, falling backwards on the bed to rub at his eyes. “What the hell is going on here?”

“I don’t know, but,” Sam pulled the laptop off his partner’s lap and slid it on to his own, “if we can find who this symbol belongs to, we can find out why. Do you think you can find out who made this?”

Gabriel nodded, still on his back, hand grasping for the pendant on the bed next to him. “It’s modern, alloy. Maybe… copper and aluminum, maybe silver plated?” He licked the cool metal, earning a grossed out expression from Sam. “Yep. Alloy. So it’s less than 200 years, rules out a lot of suspects…”

“How the hell would you know that by  _ licking it?” _

Gabriel looked up at Sam’s stare, rolling his eyes. “It tastes different from pure silver - which has very little taste, by the way. It was probably a bunch of coins at some point, melted and poured into a mold, then silver plated. It-” he sat up quickly, facing Sam. “This was poured into a mold… like a modern factory mold, meaning this is more than likely a piece of jewelry that’s been mass produced.”

“And…?”

He rolled his eyes. “ _ And _ that means that this is probably someone’s crappy necklace they bought in a thrift store and lost in the woods. Damnit!”

Sam closed his eyes, breathing in and out deeply. Gabriel flopped on the bed, hitting it with his fists several times. “Gabe.” A few more thumbs to the bed, and he quieted down. “We could ask Donna to go back in the tapes an see who it belonged to. That might lead somewhere.” He opened his eyes slowly, seeing Gabe look up at him with frustration. The shorter man simply nodded, getting up to look at the room service menu, saying nothing. 

Silence, with them, wasn’t awkward anymore. Most of the time. After getting his ‘sweet sweet vengeance on’ and moving into the bunker, they often would sit at the same table or on the couch side by side without saying anything for hours at a time. They could just be in one another’s presence, comforted by the other. But now, being here working a case and talking about emotions and getting no closer to finding the monster or murderer was making things tense. 

Sam pulled out his phone, texting his mother back after noticing the four she had sent during their hike.

 

1:06pm 

Mom: Hey Sam. Happy Belated Birthday! I called yesterday but just got voicemail. 

Dean said you texted him this morning so I know you’re alive. 

 How’s the case? Any leads? Anything you need from me?

Mom: Also, have you seen Luna’s dinosaur onesie?

 

1:12 pm

Mom: nevermind. Dean put it on the dryer and it slipped behind the machine.

Mom: Hope you’re eating and sleeping well. <3 Call me when you have a chance.

 

Sam was seconds away from doing just that when she beat him to the punch herself. “Hey mom! Sorry, I just saw your messages and-”

“Sam. There’s just something… not right here.”

He stood up, laptop almost falling to the floor. “What? What is it? Is it Luna? JAck?  _ Dean?” _

“Oh, no, Honey, I’m sorry! I should have clarified. I meant with the case, and everyone’s okay here. Happy Belated Birthday!”

“Thanks mom.” He smiled warmly. It had taken them some time to get back into rhythm after they came back from the other world, it was so nice to hear her voice no matter what she said. Although he  _ had _ hoped she’d be calling with  _ good _ news. "What’s wrong?"

Gabriel turned at the words, walking quickly back over. 

“This doesn’t seem to be just one monster.” Sam put her on speakerphone immediately. “I sent Dean over with Castiel to one of the couple’s homes and Cas said he smelt sulfur but there was also something they didn’t print: the eyes were scooped out with a melon baller.”

“Suggesting it’s a serial killer. Human, no monster.” Gabe offered.

“Hi Gabriel. And yeah, so now Dean’s convinced that the demon could have an eyeball collection, which, although ridiculous, could be possible. But I’m not entirely sold on it.”

Sam snapped his fingers towards the necklace, Gabe pulling out his phone to take a photo of it. “I’m having Gabe send you a picture of the necklace we found. The pendant has the same symbol of summoning a deava. It’s a-”

“I know what it is, Sam.” He could  _ hear _ her rolling her eyes into the back of her skull. “I guess it’s a plausible theory.” 

“Only problem is it looks like it’s a mass produced piece of jewelry, according to Gabe. Think it could still work.” 

Mary hummed in thought on the other line. “A symbol has power no matter where it’s made or drawn. I suppose… can you have Donna run a check to see if any of the staff or guests lost it?”

“Already on it Mrs. W.”

“Gabriel… you can call me Mary, you know.”

He shrugged. “Yeah… last time I said the word ‘Mary’, it followed with ‘so… you’re preggers with my dad’s kiiiid…. soooo…..’ “ he shrugged. “Hope Mrs. W is cool with you for now."

Mary laughed on the other line, Sam the only one of them not finding it amusing. “Oh, that’s fine with me for now. Oh! Honey, there’s a place in town where you are that sells charms and crystals. It’s not labeled as a magic store, but I think it’s worth checking out if you can sneak away. They’re closed right now, but they open at eight in the morning. If it’s mass produced, they might carry a few of them. I- Luna,  _ NO!” _ They heard Mary dropping the phone, it clattering on the table or floor as she scrambled to get after the small child. They could hear her yelling from far away, “ancient Incan artifacts are  _ not _ for little mouths!” before the line went dead.

“Guess she wanted an ancient Incan artifact for lunch.” Sam threw a bitch face at him, only to smile when he wasn’t looking. 

Gabriel sent off the photo to Donna after he sent it to Mary, Sam leaning over his shoulder to see that Gabe had labeled her contact as ‘ride or die Winchester’. He scoffed.  **_Probably changed the bitch t Winchester after yesterday._ **

They ate dinner in their room again, Gabriel insisting they watch the three Star Treks  _ immediately _ despite still having a case. “Yeah, yeah, I know, but we have to keep up the rouse that we  _ actually _ sneaked away for the bow-chicka-wow-wow and not for, you know, research. We’ll go back out for a walk after and eavesdrop then.” Sam wished he could argue, but he definitely felt comfortable staying in, Gabriel’s feet propped up on his lap on the couch. He didn’t even notice falling asleep halfway through the second movie, Gabriel using just a tiny bit of grace to get him under the covers. He  _ did  _ notice Gabe half asleep on the couch as the credits for the third movie rolled, listing the corner of the comforter to usher the shorter man into bed. He also noticed how Gabriel ran his fingers in his hair, but pretended to be asleep, too scared if he said anything that it would stop. It’d been so long since anyone did that for him, and damnit if he wasn’t going to soak up that affection and attention while he could. Fake or not, his husband knew what he liked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The game Sam and Gabe are playing is called Splatoon and I've never played cuz consoles are expensive af. 
> 
> Edit: I intended to finish writing this fic weeks ago but some personal health issues arose and I’m falling behind on a lot, so I appreciate your patience. I’m hoping I’ll have a new chapter up by mid July.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some gore from a flashback, a man almost drowning, some transphobic language, and some kissing!   
> (Thanks for all your patience, and please scroll up to the fic description for a link to the floorplans I made for y'all as a treat)

_ Sam couldn’t breathe. Gabriel’s prone body lay under the fallen pine branch, nettles in his hair, an explosion of angelic grace to their left. He turned his eyes away from Gabe for a second, Lucifer stalking towards them both, eyes glowing red, evil grin plastered on his annoying face. “Oh Sammy! Don’t you know by now?” He roughly pulled Sam up with one arm, throat constricting uselessly against the biting nails. “The only archangel you’ll have in your corner, IS ME!”  _

 

_ Sam struggled, kicked, punched - it was useless. He was useless. He was going to die, and at the hands of his torturer, no less. A hundred and twenty years in the pit of hell, stuck in a cage with Michael and Lucifer fighting each other, then turning to their own vessels’ souls to torture and abuse  _ them.  _ The Winchester’s had the  _ worst _ luck. Still, he struggled. If Lucifer was going to kill him, it wasn’t going to be so easy. He managed enough saliva to spit at Satan’s face, earning a slap to his own face.  _

 

_ “You fucking whore! That’s fine, guess we’ll have to rekindle the romance between us, huh Sammy?”  _

 

_ He could hear Dean’s distant shouting, a baby crying in his arms as he begged Castiel to wake up. To ‘please dear Chuck, wake up!’ But Castiel wouldn’t be able to wake up for days, the amount of energy in that exploding angel had messed all of them up real bad. And Sam’s vision went blurry with the lack of oxygen to his brain, legs going limp. This was it. The end of Sam WInchester. Not with a bang, nor firey pit of hell, just being choked to death at the literal hands of the devil...  _

 

_ A sharp pain on his ribs, a gunshot in the distance. His eyes popped open, breath heaving in huge gulps, his mother over him crying in relief. He felt the telltale pain of a broken rib, realizing only once they’d gotten home that it broke on Mary’s third round of CPR. He held her tight a moment, just smelling her hair.  _

 

_ A huge pulse of power emitted  under his legs. Then another. And another three after that, his gaze drawn to where Gabriel lay, his fingers twitching. “Mom, help me get him free.” His voice was rougher than sandpaper on glass, each breath taking more work than it seemed worth it. He cried in agony of the rib stabbing his chest wall, determined to get the archangel free. “Gabriel, man, hold on. I got ya, it’s okay, you’ll be okay.” His hands shook, cold and anxious. His breath was coming harder now, but he couldn’t stop. He  _ had _ to make sure everyone was safe. Everyone… Ketch was gone. Exploded in a pink mist along with the nameless angel next to him. Maybe Sam wouldn’t save everyone, but if he could save Gabriel… “come on!” He yanked at the angel’s armpits, pulling him out under the branches, Mary slapping his face to wake him up.  _

 

_ “Sam!” Sam cried out, Gabriel’s eyes looking up at him with awe and confusion. “Sam, what..?” He turned his head minutely, Lucifer stalking towards Dean, Castiel, Jack, and the baby. “No. NO.” _

 

_ “Gabe… tell me what to do.” His voice was hoarse, throat sore and blood still on his mouth.  _

 

_ Gabriel said nothing, eyes roving over his face and catching on the bruises around Sam’s throat, fury blazin’ behind the glow of grace in his eyes. He stood, slow and determined, a predator stalking his prey. With Lucifer distracted by angels exploding around them, crude bombs of the devil's own doing, Gabriel sliced the back of his neck, grace draining out of him, Gabriel sucking it into himself in one long breath in, until Lucifer was nearly human, vulnerable.  _

 

_ “Brother… why would you- we could have ruled together! How could you?!”  _

 

_ He sneered, punching Luci in the face, hard enough to break his nose. He kept hitting him, over and over again, jaw breaking, a tooth breaking right through a cheek. He stopped at the silence around them. Everyone had stopped in shock to watch as one archangel dragged another by the throat over to a lowly human sitting amongst a litter of pine needles, gasping for his own breath. “Sam,” he looked up, Gabriel’s voice warm, soft. “Sam… you should finish this.” Sam shook his head no, but was shushed, an archangel blade pressed into his hands. “Shh.. it’s okay. You should. He hurt you most of all. Revenge may not be all it’s cracked up to be, but I won’t take this from you. I’ll hold him.” _

 

_ “Wade! Bro-ver! Bro-ver! Pwease!” His words garbled over the blood swimming in his mouth, swallowing a tooth by accident. “We can tawk abou’ id. We can wool tog-“ he coughed pathetically.  _

 

 _Sam looked to Jack, gauging his reaction. The kid looked so conflicted, and Sam couldn’t blame him. No one wanted to watch their father die, even if he was a piece of shit. He rasped out carefully, “Jack, please, don’t watch this,” and took the blade from Gabriel. Lucifer begged some more, Sam having none of it and slicing a finger off. “That’s for when you punched my brother with my own fists.” He yanked his mouth open, pulling the tongue out and slicing that off too. “That’s for the shit you did to Jack-“ off went an ear, “ and Cas,” off went the other. “This,” he sliced off a chunk of his nose, whatever was left of it. “That’s for my mom. This is for everything else,” he yanked at his hand, hard enough to dislocate, hacking away until it broke off in a wet noise, the hand falling to the dirt below. Blood squirted everywhere and for once, Sam didn’t care. “And this? This is for_ ** _me_** ** _.”_** _With a sharp shove to his heart, Sam killed Lucifer, once and for all. Once he stopped breathing all together, Sam pulled the blade out and decapitated the being for good measure._

 

_ “Let’s go home.” _

 

 

Sam woke in a cold sweat, gasping for air. Next to him, Gabriel gasped awake a second later. “Gabe?” 

“Sam!” He flicked the light on, Gabriel launching himself at Sam’s face not a full second later, his fingers running across his partner’s neck. “Your throat… it’s okay. It was just a memory. Just a memory..” he carded his fingers through Sam’s hair, shuddering a breath out. 

“It- you had the same dream?” 

Gabriel nodded. “Mine ends with me in heaven, draining… draining mine and Lucifer’s grace. Your choking-“ he sobbed. Gabriel, messenger of God, the archangel, the trickster, sobbed into Sam’s shoulder, from a  _ memory _ . “You… you stopped breathing. You- oh  _ Sam.” _ They wrapped each other up in their arms, shaking at the memory, the smell of pine needles still fresh. “It’s okay. We’re okay. He’s dead. He’s  _ dead _ . He can’t hurt you, can’t  _ ever  _ hurt you again.” 

Sam held on tight, breathing heavily. Lucifer had been dead almost a full year. He wasn’t going to come back, he wasn’t able to hurt anyone ever again. But it didn’t make the nightmares any less real, the feeling of icy fear grips his heart whenever he saw eyes glow in the woods didn’t lessen. But he was safe, he knew that, but…

“Sam? It’s okay. We’re okay, you hear me?” Gabriel pulled back just enough to look at him in the eyes. “We’re okay. I’ve got you. He’ll never touch you again, you hear me?  _ Never. _ ” Sam nodded, letting go enough to wipe at his eyes. “Never, ever again. I got you.”

“I got you too, you know.”

Gabriel nodded, lips a tight line. “Yeah-” his voice cracked, 

Sam pulled Gabriel close to him, too wired to fall back asleep but needing to be touched, held. “Can we just… lay here? Please?”

“‘Course.” Sam was pulled down, head on Gabriel’s chest. He let out a shuddered breath, tryin g hard to wipe the awful memory of being choked to death as his family around him was seconds from their own demise. “I got you. You know I always have your back, right?”

Sam nodded. “Yes. I…. I’ve got your back too. Always.” It was quiet for a second, their breathing evening out. Sam whispered, voice cracking, “please don’t leave me.” 

“What?” Gabriel let go of his fake lover, pulling his face closer so they could look at each other in the eye. “Why- Sam, why would I  _ ever  _ leave?” 

Sam shrugged. “I don’t know. You’ll get sick of me, of us. You’ll find someone to ‘rock your world’ or something and you’ll get more of your grace back and then you’ll just-“ 

“Sam.”

“- realize we’re not worth your time - that  _ I’m  _ not worth it-“

“Sam!”

“-and… sorry.”

“Sam. Look at me.”

He didn’t realize he’d stopped, eyes darting to his instantly. “Gabe…”

“Sam, I don’t know at what point I’ve made you believe that I  _ would leave _ , but I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me now, Sammich. Whether you like it or not.” He managed a sad smile, right hand carding in Sam’s hair, left still on his chin. “I got you, I…” 

Sam gently placed a hand on his chest, tilting his head down to place a careful kiss over Gabe’s heart without thinking, right next to his hand. “I got you too.”

Gabriel’s smile was genuine, not that Sam saw it as he was fed a little grace to fall back asleep. Gabe stayed awake for as long as he could, watching Sam’s calm face smooshed into his chest, breath deep and even. 

Morning came all too soon, the open door of the bathroom filtering in the sunrise over the canyon and valley on the east side of the bank. Gabriel had barely slept, but he couldn’t bring himself to complain as he got to play with Sam’s hair all night. The taller man didn’t need to know how many braids were made and unmade throughout the evening and he was going to keep it that way. Not that Sam would even notice his hair was more disheveled than normal as he jumped in the shower as soon as he could. 

Gabriel busied himself with getting ready for the day in the meantime, sucking his teeth at the wrinkled mess of clothes in his duffle. A year as almost human and he still couldn’t pack to save his life. Rolling his eyes, he rummaged in the closet for an iron, thankful the retreat equipped their room with one, as well as an impressive sized ironing board. 

He pounded at the door with a closed fist. “Yo, Samsquatch!”

“What?!”

“I’m going to press my shirt for the day, want me to do yours?”

Sam hummed on the other side of the door, probably rinsing soap from his face as he thought. “No, I’m okay. I’m gonna just wear the grey Henley today and my jeans.”

“But this is a  _ gay  _ retreat,” Gabriel teased. “You gotta act like you at least wanna  _ try  _ to give a shit about fashion!”

“Says the man who wore an ‘Espresso Patronum’ shirt with camo shorts to an art gallery!” 

“You know you  _ loooooove  _ it!” Gave shouted back. He chuckled as he pressed his shirt, unplugging the iron as he heard a yelp and a crash from the bathroom. “Sam?”

“Ow!” 

“Sam!” Gabriel rushed to the door, shoving his way past the crappy lock to see Sam on the floor in the shower, steam from the shower doing little to hide his nudity. Normally, Gabriel would feel honoured to see such a beautiful specimen in the nude, but if it wasn’t a consensual nude evening for both (or all) parties, he wasn’t down for it. So he didn’t stare. He swears! Okay, maybe a little peak because, holy- “Shit! Okay, okay, I got a towel!” He banged into the wall, trying to look the other way, only to catch Sam’s butt in the reflection of the mirror above the sink. He scrambled to the tub, ripping the towel from the side and holding it up in front of his face as he rushed to Sam. He yanked the shower door open with one hand, feeling around for the off tap. “Here.”

Sam ripped it from his hand, covering himself up as best as he could. “Uh, thanks. Could, could you maybe help me up?” 

“Uh, yeah, yeah of course.” It was awkward, Sam all slippery and the glass doors of the shower doing nothing to help him hold onto something for balance, but they managed to get him upright again. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, I think so.” He took a step forward and instantly crumbled to the ground. “Shit! No, ow ow ow. Fuck, no I’m not. Ow! My fucking ankle.” 

“Okay; let’s get you to the edge of the tub and I’ll see what I can do.”

Sam nodded, unconvinced that Gabe could even lift him, but held on anyways. Lifting him under the armpits, he hauled him up and forwards, Sam hopping on one foot, nearly crashing them both to the ground again as they teetered to the tub. Sitting him down, the shorter of the two lifted a hand to Sam’s twisted ankle, a gentle glow of blue as his palm connected with skin. Gabe frowned as he noticed Sam’s back had also spasmed painfully, fixing it too. He was a bit breathless when he was finished. 

“Done.”

Sam breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks. You okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’ll be fine. How’s the ankle?”

“Good. Better. Thanks, Gabe.” 

He nodded. “Your back should be okay now too. Thanks for  _ telling _ me about that, by the way.”

Sam grimaced. “Yeah, sorry about that,” he replied sheepishly. “I could have taken some painkillers for it though. You didn’t -“

He waved the other man off with a scoff. “Don’t worry yourself. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Sam’s eyes softened at the corners. “Okay. Thanks.” They stared at one another for a bit too long, however. “Uh… I’m gonna change now, so…”

“Right! Right. I’m gonna… change. And then we can go into town to check out the crystal shop.”

“Yep. After breakfast though.”

Gabriel laughed, head buzzing. “Of course. Gotta eat.” He scurried out of the bathroom in a rush he didn’t realize he could manage, face a bit redder than he’d care to admit. 

Sam was attractive - no doubts there - but he was also his friend. His  _ straight  _ friend. The friend who helped him when he could barely breathe with twine in his mouth, when he had huge gashes in his stomach that wouldn’t heal, the friend who… wait.  _ Was  _ Sam straight? Gabe could read his mind to find out, but he promised himself he wouldn’t do that. He lived with them and it didn’t seem fair to read his bunker-mates’ thoughts. Especially after reading Dean’s one day when Castiel bent over to pick a book off the lower shelves. It was… not kosher. 

Sam didn’t seem uncomfortable around queer people, but Sam was a sweetheart around everyone, so that wasn’t exactly the best indicator. He only seemed uncomfortable around Trent because the man flirted with him  _ in front of his husband, _ not to mention the  _ way  _ the flirting was… it didn’t matter, did it? Even if Sam was interested in men, he’d never go for Gabe. So he resigned himself to push his thoughts to the back of his head and deal with them after the hunt. Way after. Maybe months, maybe decades. 

 

————————-

 

_ Natural Apothecary  _ was one of the cutest shops Sam had ever been in, but he’d never admit it out loud. Normally, the witch shops they went into were dark, grungy, and covered top to bottom with dirty glass jars of various creepy ingredients. But not this one. The white washed walls and dark stained oak floors were a stark contrast, huge windows letting in gorgeous light for all the plants hanging about. Climbing ivy, succulents on every single shelf, and a beautiful little raised herb garden behind the counter for fresh picking made him think of the garden section in a WalMart rather than “witch shop”. But there were still pendants, candles, satchels, incense and all the other bits on tables and cases that were familiar to him. 

There were a few hipster looking wiccans walking about, the owner stocking a shelf of white and green candles when they walked in. Her hair as green as the ivy on the wall, black skin making it pop, white flowing gown showcasing the very real power she had swirling under the surface. And because this was his life, it should not have surprised him to see her name tag say ‘Ivy’. 

“Welcome! I’ll be with you in a-“ her back stiffened, head turning in their direction. “Oh.” 

Sam looked between her and Gabriel, a curious expression on his face as Gabriel’s hardened into a mask. “Ah. I’m, we’re not here for… we just have some questions about a necklace we found.” 

One of the hipsters looked at them curiously, but said nothing, going back to look at the loose crystals by the cash. 

“Oh… okay, um… over-“ she placed the candles down, walking briskly over to the cash, whispering something to the lone cashier popping up from behind the counter. She motioned for the two of them follow her, and were usher into a very clean and tiny office behind the black wall. “What is it you need, angel?”

“I’m not much of an angel anymore. I’m just with this one,” he pointed a thumb over his shoulder at Sam. “Hunting. I don’t want any trouble.”

Sam raised an eyebrow at her, trying to connect the dots. “Wait, how’d you know he was an angel?”

She scoffed, pulling the collar of her blouse down, her long green hair already piled up high on her head in a bun. Three little tattoos in a curve in white ink lay upon her dark skin, a lovely contrast. The symbols looked Enochian, but Sam’s enochian wasn’t exactly perfect. “They burn when demons and angels are near. One for each.”

“And the third for shapeshifters.” Gabriel was impressed. Not many witches knew enochian, especially the older stuff. 

She nodded, righting herself and leaning on the desk for support. “What can I help you with then?”

“We’re working a job a few towns over and we came across this necklace,” Gabe spoke as Sam took said necklace from his pocket. “We think it come from the murderer.” 

He placed it in her henna covered hands, turning it over a few time. Her eyes tracked the broken off part, bringing it to her mouth and licking it as Gabriel had the day before. “Hmm, a mixed alloy. Aluminum, lead and … what is that?” She licked it again. “Hmm. Copper. I’m sorry boys, but no. The only necklaces I sell are pure silver or crystal.”

Sam sighed. “You think it’s mass produced?”

Ivy nodded. “Yeah, looks like it was made in a machine press. Most likely some fast fashion outlet wanted it for their jewelry line and saw the Daeva symbol and went ‘oh wow! Super trendy!’ Hmm!”  She tsked. “Absolutely shit when companies try to profit off of something religious and powerful.”

“Don’t you run a witch shop with a bunch of hipster customers who probably know nothing about the stuff they’re buying?”

She stared down at Gabriel with daggers in her eyes. “I inform each and every patron of the power of every item they touch and buy, and if they choose to ignore my warning, that’s on them.”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough.” Sam gently pushed on Gabriel’s chest, pushing him a bit away from Ivy. “Thanks, Ivy. Um, anything you know that can be a daeva but also claw someone’s eyes out?”

She shook her head, turning to get off the desk and walked around to the chair. Rattling around in the bottom drawer, she pulled out a book no bigger than the first Harry Potter, and handed it to Sam. He tried taking it but she pulled back a moment, staring into his eyes. “Whatever you’re hunting, it’s smart. Probably a hybrid of something. This contains all known hybrids and my sister wrote this book, so treat it with respect.” He nodded solemnly and she placed it gingerly in his big hand. She sighed as she moved to open the door. “I doubt you’ll find whatever it is you’re looking for, but you’re not the only hunters working this case. Hopefully the four of you will figure it.”

Sam and Gabe both opened their mouths to ask who the other hunters could be when am entire display came crashing down, a teenage hipster kid along with it. 

“Ow! Miss Ivy, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!” The poor kid was slipping around on the oils all over the wooden floor, tiny shards of glass from the broken essential oil bottles imbedded on his hands. “Oh goddess! I’ve made such a mess. Fuck!”

Ivy closed her eyes, composing herself before cracking her neck twice, and leaving to comfort him. “Go out the back way, boys, I got this. Issac! Don’t move, I’m going to get the first aid kit. Junebug, could you grab the mop. It’s okay, Issac, just, no- no, stop trying to stand!”

They slid out the back way, Junebug paying little attention to them as she ran toward the mess with the mop and bucket. 

“Well that was a bust.”

Sam nodded, sliding the book in the innermost jacket pocket. “Tell me about it. At least we have the book. What now?”

“Well, there’s the mixer at the retreat we should go to, schmooze some more. Get nosy.” He waggled his eyebrows at Sam, opening the passenger side of the car to plonk down in. “Did Donna get back to you about who’s necklace it could be?”

Sam rearranged himself in the front seat, legs protesting at the angle. “Yeah, she said the retreat shares the hiking trail with a few neighbors but the one most likely who would have owned the necklace died a few years ago and the property’s been sitting empty ever since.”

“Shit. Anything else?”

“She doesn’t trust the waiters. Thinks maybe they’re hiding something.”

“Hmm. It’s something.” The roar of the engine soothed Gabriel into a comfortable leaning position. 

“It’s something.”

During lunch, Gabriel looked at each waiter closely, trying to find someone sketchy. But everyone looked sketchy as hell to him. Josephine with her apparent drug addiction - which could be legitimate or it could be a cover for something more sinister. Although, half the staff seemed like they could be drug mules. Lennard was just  _ too _ zen to not be smoking weed in the parking lot. Wanda… Wanda was cool, actually, seemed genuine enough to him, but Gabriel had been wrong before. Meadow on the other hand…

“What’s the art teacher’s name again? Meadow… but  _ not _ Meadow?”

Sam chuckled, mouth full of some quinoa monstrosity. “It’s Meadow, but we called here Barbara. She’s still mad at that, btw.”

“Huh.” Gabriel put a finger on his chin, contemplating as said woman waltzed in wearing a ridiculously long and gauze dress, cigarette pants visible underneath the sheer fabric. “It was mean, but it was  _ kinda  _ funny.” 

“You miss pranking people, don’t ya?”

Gabe sighed dramatically, giving his absolute best Scarlett O’Hara fainting bit at the table. “I do declare, Sammy-bear,” He drawled in the absolute worst Louisiana accent. “That I do rightly so miss being able to make you laugh whilst making people’s eyebrows disappear at the drop of a hat!” 

Sam’s laughter was so loud it earned them several dirty looks from the neighbouring tables, as well as from one bartender. “Oh man! Dean without his eyebrows  _ was _ pretty funny. But he said if you did that again he’d piss in your shampoo.”

“Yeah, well, the joke would be on him cuz your mom and I use the same shampoo. So then she’d be washing her hair and -”

“Wait,” He laid his fork down, staring at Gabriel with a face of confusion. “You and mm  _ share shampoo? _ Since  _ when? _ ”

“Since we came back from the portal.” Gabriel shrugged, uncaring of whatever Sam might think of it. “We both saw it on sale in Target and we tried rock-paper-scissoring  for it-”

“Ew. Don’t say it like that.”

“Get our head out of the gutter! Anyways, we oth figured, ‘hey. This stuff is good,  _ and _ it’s on sale for a buck fifty, so we cleared the shelves and we just.. You know, share.” He shrugged again, shoveling pasta in his mouth before he said something stupid like how the smell of chamomile and gardenia reminded him of the first time he and Raphael trained fledglings to fly, or how the cucumber and watermelon conditioner smell reminded him of his first kiss with a human and how she’d tasted of the food. He was allowed some secrets. 

Sam shook his head, a small smile on his face, a private one Gabriel rarely saw and treasured every time it was out. “Hey it’s nice you guys have a thing, I just didn’t know how close you were.”

Gabriel looked deep into Sam’s eyes, 100% serious. “I treasure the friendship you and I have, and I treasure the one your mom has with me too. She treats me like a son sometimes, which is… a little annoying since I’m a millenia older than she is, but it’s also comforting. It’s been a long time since someone saw me like that,  _ treated _ me like that, and I-” He rubbed a hand down his face, gaze dropping on his plate. “I missed it. We hang out here and there, and I usually feel guilty, because if I wasn’t such a coward, I could have gone back in time and killed Azazeal-”

“Gabe.”

“And then  _ none of this _ would have happened!”

Sam leaned forwards, whispering harshly. “ _ Gabe!” _

He only scoffed in return. “No,  _ Sam _ , I could have. Yeah, Mike and Raoh would have probably beat my ass and thrown me into heaven’s prison next to Gadreel and Metatron, but shit. If it meant you would have grown up with  _ both parents- _ ”

Sam grabbed both of his hands, face stern. “No. Enough. Dean already saw what our lives would have been like if mom hadn’t died, if we hadn’t hunted. All the people we saved? Died. Dean and I, we didn’t even  _ talk _ in this other reality. We were  _ estranged. _ I know we kinda are now, but we’re working on it. He’s trying. I’m trying. We  _ saved _ so many people, Gabe, and you helped. No, Stop shaking your head and  _ listen to me! _ It sucks, this life, but I had an out. And I  _ still came back.  _ I spend half my life wishing things were different, but this is where we are now. We have to use the hand we’ve been dealt with, and if you try to time travel  _ now?” _ He sucked in a harsh breath, closing his eyes to oncoming tears. “You wouldn’t make it. I can’t live with that. I need all the people in my life right now to  _ stay alive _ , okay?” He nodded numbly, eyes never leaving Sam’s. “Good.” He nodded, dropping his hands to continue eating. “We skipped group but it was just for painting our pots, and then there’s the hike before the mixer. I think we should go through the book Ivy gave us and come up with a plan.”

Gabriel looked down at his pasta in disgust. He no longer had an appetite. “Yeah. Maybe put holy water in the punch and see who chokes?”

Sam laughed, a tiny bit of spinach falling onto his plate. “Yeah, sounds good.”

Five and a half hours later, and bupkis. The book wa amazing, but it just wasn’t close enough to point to a single monster. Sam seemed really intrigued by the shifter-selkie one but agreed that it didn’t fit in this particular scenario. They managed to check in with Donna and go through some of the footage she could swipe for them, finding little other than catching some of Trent’s dirty looks and a racist statement about Yuri and Lance. 

Gabriel damned near threw the laptop at the fireplace when he’d heard it, Sam only barely managing to wrestle the device outta him before he slid to the ground like a four year old having a meltdown about not having light up shoes. Which would honestly be something that Gabe  _ would _ buy if given the chance to find a pair in his size.  **_Shit, better keep him away from those websites if I can,_ ** he thought. **_Damned if I’m walking down the bunker in the dark at night and a pair of glow-stick feet come running at me at full speed._ **

Sam eventually agreed to put the research down for now, helping Gabe off the floor so they could get ready for the mixer. 

“There haven’t been any more deaths related to this place,” Gabriel pointed out as he got dressed. “The pattern puts it so that someone  _ here _ is going to be the next target, so we have to watch around for signs. Signs we can’t look for if we’re stuck here.”

Sam merely mumbled in response, half about to complain at how nicer the bed here was and how sleeping there helped with his nightmares, but he wasn’t ready for his fake hubby to find out just how much the other’s presence meant to him. So he ironed the shirt he’d bought at Old Navy earlier in the week, pretended not to check out Gabe’s ass when he bent down to unplug the iron, and said nothing.

 

_______________________________________________

 

 

A mixer on the back patio at  _ Over the Rainbow _ was just as colourful as you’d expect, especially with the fruit and vegetable spread on the tables. Gabe had to hand it to them, they sure as shit knew how to throw a party. A  _ great  _ party actually, with a live DJ, passed drinks, and an honest to goodness magician.  **_Now I’ve seen it all_ ** **,** he mused.  **_A freaking magician with a pink and green dyed bunny pulled from a rhinestone encrusted rainbow top hat. Gonna be hard to top THAT hat!_ **  He chuckled at his own stupid pun, thankful no one was paying much attention to him. He looked around hoping maybe Sam was nearby so he could hare the pun with him, but Sam had gone off when June found him in a panic over Laura’s wheelchair getting stuck in the bathroom. 

The staff were capable to help, of course, but Sam was far more physically strong to maneuver the chair and Laura needed lifting out of it first anyways. Gabriel looked down at his hands wondering if he could conserve his powers enough to give Laura some more mobility. All he’d been able to do since coming back was minor healings - the most being a nasty second degree burn on Mary’s forearm after a wendigo hunt had gone sideways - and hadn’t bothered trying anything major. 

**_What if she doesn’t want it?_ ** He mused, sipping on his Sidecar.  **_She might be comfortable with herself now, and changing would be too much. She DID mention being wheelchair bound for a few decades, plus their house is already equipped for her and… maybe when this is all over, Sam and I could go on a double date with them and see how things are._ **  The thought came unbidden, and it shocked him how normal it felt. Him and Sam, him  _ with _ Sam was something he wasn’t going to have, so why even dwell on it? Why picture them going on dates and double dates and going to the farmer’s market and-  **_No. No, I’m not allowed to have that with him. Sam might be cool with me tagging along shopping but whatever… why am I even THINKING about this? Is it this place? Dad-damnit!_ **

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to get his thoughts in order. Sleeping in the same bed wasn’t helping with his feelings with Sam, even if it made the night terrors easier. It was during this contemplation that he didn’t notice Trent coming towards him until the fucker collided his shoulder into Gabes, causing the cocktail to spill all over the former fraternity brother’s new dress shirt. “What’s your problem, old man?”

Something hot and sharp inside Gabe’s chest flared up, his anger bubbling to the surface. “My  _ problem _ is that while you’re here with your newly wedded  _ husband _ over there, on a retreat to save whatever shambles you’ve left your marriage in, you’ve spent more time eyeing  _ my  _ husband and trying to put moves on him! And it’s making all three of us uncomfortable. And another thing, you’ve been a real  _ dick _ to Lance and Yuri - yeah, don’t think I didn’t hear that fucking slur you used on the phone yesterday. And you best go apologise to June as well, if you think you can manage enough compassion to string together enough ‘I’m sorry’s’ before you combust!”

Trent laughed, an ugly thing rearing its head. “Apologise? To  _ him?  _ He’s parading around in a dress like a  _ drag queen,  _ oh honey, there ain’t  _ no way _ I’ll-”

And with a hard fist to the mouth, Trent fell back like a ton of bricks. His nose broken, blood running freely, Gabriel looked at his own busted knuckles, really wishing he had more grace left to heal his hand so he could punch him again. Just as he looked up to say the thought aloud, Trent was up, punching Gabriel in the face so hard,  _ he _ stumbled back. All the way back, right into the pool. 

Gabriel slipped under the pool cover and into the freezing cold depths, blood from his nose mixing with the disgusting water underneath. He tried to swim, but it felt like he was drowning.  **_Cuz you are,_ ** he thought **_. You’re drowning because you never learnt how to swim. All the shit that could have taken you out, water had to be the one._ ** He kicked uselessly, his legs already starting to seize from cold. He only hoped that Sam wouldn’t remember him this way...

Coughing and sputtering, he opened his eyes to see Sam panting over him. “Oh, thank  _ Chuck _ !” Gabe felt the heavy thud of Sam’s head on his chest, bringing up his hand to run through the damp strands.  **_Wait, why is your hair wet? How come I’m on solid ground?_ ** “You weren’t moving and it didn’t even occ- I didn’t know you couldn’t swim! I can’t- I can’t lose you. Not again.” Gabe cradled Sam’s head to his chest, trying to catch his own breath. 

“Now what in the H-E-double hockey sticks is going on right now?” Donna’s voice cut through the crowd like a hot knife through cheese. There was some scuffle noises, the weight of Sam’s head lifted from his chest and screaming ensued. 

“Lemme at him! Lemme  _ AT HIM!”  _ On some level, he knew it was Sam yelling, screaming at Trent, but in that moment, it seemed like it was happening a million miles away. He hadn’t felt so disconnected from his vessel in a very long time; not even for the eight years he was stuck in hell did he feel so strange. It wasn’t until he started shivering that he realized it was his sore ribs, his head floating away as oxygen rushed back into his lungs. Someone had gotten towels and was helping him upright, June and Yuri’s voices a distant thing despite knowing they were probably crouched next to him. 

He coughed a few times, deep and wet, and a flashlight was soon i his face, checking his pupillary response. “Gabriel, can you hear me?” Lennard sat in a chair opposite him.  **_When the hell did I get into a chair?_ ** He nodded. “Good. I’m a trained EMT so I’m going to listen to your lungs now, okay? Can you lean forward, please?” He felt hands on his back helping him forward, a warm stethoscope on his skin, the little piece moving about as he shivvered. “Breathe for me.”  **_Breathe, ya sure, I’ll breathe out some water, shall I?_ ** But his worrying was for naught - whatever little grace he had left took the water out. He had to be very careful the next few days or else it would be gone forever. “Your ungs sound clear, but you’re still shivering. We should get you to the ER so they can-”

“No! No hosptials.” 

Yuri pushed the hair from his face, turning hi head to look at the younger man. “Gabe, you know your lungs may  _ sound  _  okay, but you really ought to have it checked out. If you don’t want to take an ambulance, Lance and I can drive you and Sam-”

“No! I’m fine!” And he demonstrated just how fine he was by struggling free from the towel and promptly falling on his ass, the chair falling on top of him. “Fuck!” He coughed.

“Gabe!” Yuri and Lennard pulled him up by each armpit and deposited him back into the chair, June standing by. “Gabriel, come on, please be reasonable-”

Gabe sneered. Him?  _ Reasonable? _ It wasn’t his style, especially not when he was injured. Power through and pretend you’re okay was his motto, and that got him… where, exactly?  **_Maybe Yuri has a point._ **

“Gabe? Where’s Gabe?” 

His head shot up at the sound of Sam’s voice. Sam was  _ soaked _ in his button down and jeans, floppy hair stuck to the sides of his face like a drowned cat. If he hadn’t just almost  _ died _ he would laugh. But as it were, Gabriel could only extend his arms, trying desperately to turn his quivering lip into a smirk and failing epically. “Here.”

Sam just about ran into his arms, knees hitting the patio stones, Lance trailing behind him. “I was so worried. Don’t  _ do _ that. Ever. Again.”

“He started it.” He sniffled, burrowing his head into the crook between Sam’s neck and shoulder. “Couldn’t just stand down.” He lowered his voice so only Sam could hear as he breathed, “I told you I was done running.”

Sam’s breathy laugh was humourless, but a welcome reprieve from the yelling. “Come on, let's get you in the room.”

“Uh, Mr. Freely, you really ought to take him to the hospital-”

Sam pulled away to cut Lennard off with a hand. “Lennard, not to disrespect your medical knowledge, cuz I’m not about that life, but we don’t have fond memories at hospitals, especially not since our insurance coverage doesn’t start till next month, so unless you heard water in his lungs, I’m taking him back to our room to rest. If you need us to sign something about refusing medical care, then we’ll sign it.” Gabe didn’t realise he was playing with Sam’s wet hair until Sam turned to him for confirmation. “Gabe, do you think you need to go to the ER?” He shook his head. “Are you sure?” He nodded. “Don’t lie to me.”

“‘M not. I’m just so cold. I wanna go in-inside before I-” and then, Gabriel, archangel of the LOrd, Mr. Freely, retired air force captain, sneezed all over Sam’s face. “Shit. Sorry babe.”

Sam took the towel around Gabe, wiped his face and pulled the towel tighter over him. “Let’s just get you inside.”

With some careful maneuvering and a lot of help from Lance and Yuri, Sam managed to get Gabriel in their room, bundled in as many towels as he could get the staff to bring him. 

Once everyone left them be, Gabriel snapped. “I’m  _ useless _ , Samsquach! I’m totally and utterly  _ useless _ .”

“Enough!” Sam grabbed him by the shoulders to shake him in frustration. “You gave up so much! You sacrificed your own brother, and you and Jack gave up so much of your grace to keep heaven running, and if it weren’t for you doing that, we wouldn’t have more angels!”

“But that’s the point! There are  _ more angels _ now. More of them to try and mess with shit, to… to  _ die _ .”

“Hey, no. You can’t think like that. You did something unbelievably brave - risky, yeah - and it paid off. Now Jack will get to know his roots, know where his family comes from. Gabe,” he pushed the errant strand from his face. “You saved an entire species from extinction, you can take a breather. This is a case, yeah, but look where we are. This place is ritzy  _ as fuck _ . Let’s steal some toilet paper and little hotel soap, and maybe order too much room service. How about it?”

Gabriel’s smile was small, sorrowful, but genuine. “Fine. But I want to go in that bathtub at some point.”

Sam smiled. “Come on, I’ll fill it for you.” He carried Gabe to the couch, covering him with the wool blanket overtop the towels and set to work. The bubbles were high and soft, Gabriel happy with the smell. Sam was still soaked though, Gabriel commenting on it as such. “What? No, Gabriel, I’m fine. Really, I’m okay with a dry towel and a new change of clothes. It wasn't  _ me  _ that got sucked under the pool cover and almost drowned. I - no one  _ did anything _ .” He looked at his shaking hands, picking at some invisible dirt there. “I come out to hear someone punched Trent and I looked around to find your face, see your reaction, and there you are, unmoving underneath that plastic-” He closed his eyes, steadying a breath. “You’re okay now, you’re safe.”

“I’m safe. You’re safe too.” He opened his arms in a signal to be carried. “Come help me into that thing and then get in there too.”

“What?”

“I might drown again!”

Sam snorted, “you idiot”, but then obliged, stripping off his jeans and over shirts before picking Gabriel up out of his towel and blanket cocoon. 

They watched the sunset together from the tub, warm water and bubbles between them, ginger ale bubbles on the tray next to them the staff had brought before leaving, the calming melody of the radio in the room over.

“They have good taste in music.”

“Hmm..”

Gabe turned to face Sam. “Thanks Sam. If I had to have anyone as a fake husband, I’m glad it was you. I wouldn’t choose anyone else.”

Sam looked at Gabriel’s tired eyes, searching for something. He must have found it, his lips tugging into a smile, and he went for it. He leaned in and planted a soft kiss to the other man’s lips. 

“Woah.”

“I’m sorry. That was out of line, wasn’t it?”

“No, Sam," Gabe’s hands came up to rest on his shoulders, “listen. Is this… do you really want this? Cuz…”

“Cuz… what?”

“Um…. cuz I wouldn’t exactly be opposed.”

“Oh, really?”

“Hey… um… you’re very hot, let’s not pretend you’re not, I just… I don’t think  _ physical _ love is something I can.. give you right now.”

“Oh.” Sam’s brow furrowed in thought.  “Cuz… cuz I’m not a woman?”

Gabriel blinked and then let out a peal of laughter, there and gone in a flash. “Oh, that’s  _ hilarious _ ! Oh, Sam, I’m not about to let what you may or may not have between your legs stop me from liking you, I just meant… my, um,  _ trauma _ , if you will. My  _ trauma _ was… a lot. He did… things and I-“

“Kentucky Fried Bastard! He…?”

Gabe nodded solemnly. 

“Fucking asshole.” Sam sighed. “It’s okay Gabe, we don’t have to have sex right now. I can wait a year if-“

“A  _ year?! _ Fuck. Good to know  _ you  _ can, cuz  _ I can’t _ ! I’m talking more like…. a few weeks, it that’s okay with you.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, Yeah. Um…. about the kissing…?”

“Stop reading my mind, Winchester!” Gabe sassed, moving his hand to Sam’s face, pulling him in for a tender kiss. “Damn, you’re lips are soft.” Gabe moaned against Sam’s mouth, starved for it. 

Sam hummed in agreement. “Can I suck a hickey on your neck?”

“Oh, hell Yeah! Let’s make those O'Connell guys jealous. That Trent fucker best know he can’t touch you.”

“You telling me who can and can’t touch me now?”

Gabe stopped. “No, it’s your body and your call, but I think it’s fair for me to have an opinion on who seems like a total creep and shouldn’t come near a dead pack of rats, let alone my husband.”

“Husband doesn’t seem right”

“Oh, sorry. My  _ fake _ husband.”

“No, no. I mean… like… it’s not powerful enough of a word.”

Gabe pulled away again, smirk playing on his lips again. “Why? You looking for an honest to Dad-ness marriage proposal?”

“No. I don’t think marriage is something either of us need to define our relationship. I was thinking maybe lover works, or, or… I don’t know! Something.”

Gabriel’s whole face softened as he gazed up at his partner. “How about, you’re my Sam, and I’m your Gabe.”

“Yeah, Yeah okay.” Sam tugged at his hair, flipping them around so he was over top of him. He put one hand on the tub next to his head and kissed him fast and hard. 

Gabriel moaned and whimpered, Sam thinking at first that it was from pleasure, but as a fist connected with his chest, he stopped. Underneath him, Gabriel’s eyes were full of fear, mouth trembling. 

“You’re having a panic attack.” He felt numb.  _ He _ did this.  _ He _ set it off. “It’s okay, it’s okay Gabe.” He backed away, pulling him up into a sitting position. He rubbed his hands on his arms, his face, repeating “I’m sorry, it’s okay, you’re okay. I didn’t know that was a boundary, it won’t happen again. I’m sorry. You’re okay, you’re safe here.” 

Gabriel nodded numbly, slowly getting out from the tub, eyes averted. The sun was gone now, just enough light out to cast dark purple hues along the ridges and for him to navigate himself out of the bathroom, shutting the door firmly. 

Sam facepalmed, feeling like a total idiot.  **_You knew he’s struggling and you pushed too far. Dumbass._ ** He sat in the water until it got too cold, draining the tub and pulling out a towel to dry himself off with. As his hand touched the doorknob, a soft knock sounded. “Gabe?

“Hey. Can you um… can you open the door?” Sam obliged, seeing Gabriel dressed in his pajamas. “Hi.” An awkward smile played along the edges of his mouth. “Um… I’m sorry for running out on you-“

“No, Gabe, it’s fine-“

“No it’s not I’m just-“

“Gabe.”

“Sam!” That shut him up. “I’m just… I’m turned around here because… because that Kentucky Fried Demon messed me up and while I find you being that…” he chewed around for the right word. “That passionate… it’s hot, okay? It’s  _ really  _ hot, but my brain is all fucked up and I’m just hearing  _ danger, danger _ over and over and over again and it’s- it’s just- I’m sorry.” His hands dropped, head drooping. “Can you.. I got you your pajamas.” He bent over to pick up the little stack of clothes on the couch, socks included. “Do you… do you think we could lay in bed and watch something? Together? In the bed I mean. And watching it too, I’m just-“

Sam reached out for the clothes, steadying his partner’s hands. “It’s okay. I’m gonna get dressed and be right out. We can watch tv, as long as it’s not _Game of Thrones,_ cuz I’m behind on the books.”

Gabriel smiled softly, stretching up a few inches on his toes to kiss his cheek. “Okay.”

Not thirty minutes into an episode of  _ Shameless _ , Gabriel leaned on an elbow, looking at Sam with something powerful in his eyes. He leant down and kissed him soundly on the mouth. Sam pulled him down, keeping Gabe on top to avoid another panic attack. Sam always thought he was a good kisser - no one ever left with a complaint from him, oh no, sir-e-Bob! - but Jesus, GABE. Gabriel was taking him apart with a fast, desperate kiss, followed by one so slow and passionate that he was sure his toes would curl up and fall off. 

“Mmm… we should stop before this gets too heated.” Sam rubbed a hand down his side, trying to even out his breathing. 

Gabe sighed. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right. You should keep your shirt on tonight anyways, just to hm….”

“Set boundaries?”

“Yeah. That.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The monster! Will they catch it in time before another couple dies? Read to find out.
> 
> ***********Mentions of rape, but no details as I've been told that it's been triggering for others.
> 
> side note: If you see any spelling or grammatical errors, please let me know as I've been letting those slip through the cracks. Cheers.

The next morning, despite Gabriel’s contant reaffirmations that he was fine, Sam decided he was to stay in bed that morning, ordering room service for them instead. Gabe had to admit, it was nice having someone else dote on him, especially when it was Sam. Sam who piled up all the pillows to lean on while Gabe leaned on his chest as they watch TV. Sam who ran his fingers through his hair, leaving little kisses on his neck. Sam who actually fed him an honest to goodness chocolate covered strawberry.  _ In bed! _ Gabe never wanted to leave. But they still had a case, and by lunch time, the two lovebirds left their room hand in hand.

Gabriel hadn’t held hands like this with someone in over a fourteen years - back when Kali left him last - and he didn’t know how much he missed it until Sam’s slightly larger one slipped into his. 

Lance gave them a knowing look as they met up in the back hall, gesturing to his own neck. “You guys get those from the water?” 

Sam blushed, unused to this kind of attention. “Um…. those pesky leaches…” 

Lance laughed back good naturedly, gently elbowing Sam in the ribs. “Oh, I think I know those leeches pretty well! You guys doing okay? How’s your hand, Gabe?”

“It’s okay. Sam kissed it all better.” He wiggled his eyebrows at the pair. “But yeah, I’m okay. Turns out almost dying is a marriage saving boon. And an aphrodisiac for  _ this _ one.”

“ _ Gabriel _ !” 

“What? Nothing wrong with some marital bliss, right my  _ Aisuru _ ?”

Sam scowled and rolled his eyes, stomping over to get them a table close to the windows, Lance following closely behind. 

“He doesn’t it like it when you call him ‘love’?” 

He glanced at Yuri, remembering the man understood Japanese, mainly because  _ he was Japanese _ . “Uh, well…  _ Anata _ doesn’t really have the same power behind it, and he’s too tired to open a translator app.”

Yuri hummed. “Maybe he knows and he’s annoyed cuz he thinks you could come up with something better.”

“Like what?” 

“ _ Watashi no tenshi _ \- get it, cuz your whole,” Yuri gestured to all of Gabriel. “Angel vibe.” 

He laughed, pulling Yuri in by the shoulders to laugh together as they joined their men at the table. 

Lunch was far too healthy for his taste, and although he enjoyed the salmon and quinoa super greens salad, he refused to eat the kale on his plate,  _ despite _ the puppy dog eyes Sam was giving him. There were just some rules he  _ wouldn’t  _ break. Eating garnish was one of them. 

Having missed couple’s cardio -  _ eww - _ the four of them took their seats in the rainbow room for more group therapy. 

 

“Gabriel,” all ten sets of eyes turned on him. “How are you after yesterday’s… incident.”

“ _ Kinda _ pissed that Trent wasn’t arrested, but I’ll cope.” He smirked, trying to steady himself. “Look… this is new to me, not just the therapy, but- look, no one dared to mess with me in the Air Force,  _ no one _ . I outranked most of them, and the rest were just plain  _ scared _ . I’ve never had to explain who I was or who I loved to anyone, not even my own family. I just can’t stand seeing this happen to other people, and if I were at full power- oh, I’d be  _ very  _ tempted to have shoved him off the side of the cliff there.” 

Wanda leaned her elbows on the arms of her chair, leaning a touch forward. “What do you mean by full power?”

Sam chuckled, ever the quick thinker. “He means when he was younger and stronger.”

“Hey! You’re the one of us with grey hair, Sambo.”

“ _ You said you wouldn’t bring that up.”  _ He whispered angrily. 

“Sam, Gabriel; I’m glad to see you both better, and Gabriel,” she slid on the edge of her seat. “When it comes to living as a queer person, you’re going to learn the hard way which battles to fight, otherwise you’ll end up burnt out, or worse. It’s not easy, that’s for sure, but you’ll get better at it with time. It makes it easier when you have a support system, and I think you have quite a few people in your corner.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I just wish I didn’t have to feel lucky to be alive. I want to just…  _ be _ alive without having to thank the monsters of the world for not trying to kill me.”

Wanda nodded back. “I know. And maybe one day homophobia and transphobia will be a thing of the past, but for now, we learn to cope. Let’s talk about ways to cope with it as a group.”

Gabriel zoned out for most of the group, not on purpose, of course, but because Sam had held his hand through most of it. The warm, solid weight in his was so comforting and sent little tingles up his arm. He couldn’t stop picturing coming home to the bunker to find Sam in their bed, half asleep with a book on his chest. Of course, that would probably never happen - the bed thing, of course. Sam often read until exhaustion. But sharing a bed with him outside of this? He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, and by the end of the group, he had a sizeable chunk of his lip gone. 

 

——----------

 

One on one therapy was weird, mainly because it was  _ not  _ one on one, but rather both of them with a therapist, but also because they couldn’t get the low down from anyone else. It also was weird as hell… just cuz it was  _ weird.  _ Foreign. Uncomfortable. 

“How often do you two have sex?”

Gabriel nearly spit up his own saliva. “Uh… what?”

“I’m not comfortable talking about that,” Sam answered, shifting in his seat on the small couch.

“Especially with a stranger.” Gabe added. 

“It’s okay, this is a safe space.” Their counselor Natalie reassured them, clipboard resting on her lap. “Nothing you say here will leave this room. Intimacy is important to every relationship, and while sex isn’t mandatory, it is beneficial in its own way. I’m trying to gauge how you interact with each other in an intimate setting.”

Sam picked underneath his nails, unsure of what to say. “Um… we uh, sorta were intimate last night… kinda?”

She nodded, watching for Gabriel’s reaction. “Did that go well for you, Gabriel.”

He stared her down. “This isn’t something he wants to talk about, so-“

“But it’s important! Intimacy shouldn’t be something to ignore or pretend we’re above it. It’s about loving someone and showing that love.”

“I show it! Sam shows it too! It’s just not- "

“Not… what, Gabriel? Not appropriate? Not easy? What’s stopping you from talking about it?”

“Cuz maybe I was raped, okay? And I haven’t told anyone about it, and I- I just-“ the walls were closing in, his breath coming too fast, heart pounding in his chest. “I can’t- I can’t talk about it, I can’t- I can’t- I can’t  _ breathe _ !”

He shook, Sam pulling him into his lap, struggling to keep Gabe from falling off. A big warm hand rubbed circles on his back, another on his face, gently wiping away the angry tears. “Shh… I have you, I got you. You’re safe, you’re safe here. He’s dead, he’s  _ dead, _ Gabe. He can’t ever come after you, he’ll never touch you or anyone ever again. It’s gonna be okay, I have you, you’re safe here, it’s okay.” 

He breathed heavily,  **_five count in, eight count out._ ** “I’m okay, I’m not there, I’m here- I’m here with you. I’m with you. I’m safe. I’m safe with you.”

“Yeah, you’re safe, you’re here with me, I’m right here Gabe, I’ve got you.”

Several long tense moments of his laboured breathing filled the room, slowly but surely calming down. Once his breathing returned to normal, he pulled away from Sam gently. He turned to face her, ready to apologize, but he couldn’t get anything out. 

“Would you be willing to talk about that? Sam seems to want to know what happened, and he’s clearly not going anywhere.” Natalie’s eyes were soft, and nothing in her posture or demeanour showed anything other than welcoming and genuinely caring.

He looked up at the gentle giant, seeing the pain and trust and something else in his eyes and breathed out shakily. “He- um, he knows a bit, but um… okay.” His voice was small and scared, an almost unheard of tone from the angel. He felt sick. 

She nodded, pen stuck to the clipboard. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay. I’ll never be ready, but… yeah, okay. I’m…I was in a pretty epic um, battle.”

“In the Air Force.”

“Yeah. I can’t really talk about the nature of it, cuz…” he gestured in the air. “Yeah. So. I escaped, Sam couldn’t find me so he thought I was dead, and I ended up being captured and sold to uh… let’s call him a war lord. So the… he… he basically sucked my soul out of me.” His tone fell flat. Sam rubbed at his back, knowing that he only spoke this seriously a handful of times in the twelve years they knew each other. “For eight years I was his whipping toy. It wasn’t about using me for leverage after a while, he just-“ he took a shaking breath in. “It was hell. It was hell and he.. he sewed my mouth shut. He bound me and he… he  _ humiliated  _ me in front of other demons. I know they were people once, but they’re monsters to me now. He starved me, he broke my leg over and over again so I couldn’t escape, he ripped out my- my hair, and he- he just- I can’t-“ Fat hot tears ran down his face, hands shaking. “I don’t want what happened  _ there _ to mess up what we have  _ here _ . And it’s still doing that. It’s  _ still  _ a problem with me. And I used to  _ get around _ .” He chanced a glance at Sam. “Sorry  _ Aisuru _ . It’s just… it never was a problem for me. No matter what happened, no matter who tried to kill me or my father ditching his kids to ‘find himself’, sex was something I was  _ always _ good at.  _ Always _ . Now I’m…” he huffed. 

Natalie nodded, her grey and brown hair bobbing in it’s ponytail. “Can I ask how many times he…?”

“I lost count somewhere after a hundred and twelve.”

Sam’s grip on his shirt tightened. “I want to kill him.” His breath came out in hot puffs of fury. “I want to bring him back to life and roast him like the piece of Kentucky fried  _ garbage  _ he is. I want to- I’m so sorry.” He wrapped his arms around the shorter man, the latter sinking into his embrace. “I’m  _ so sorry _ . I’m sorry that happened. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, that you couldn’t talk about it.”

Gabriel shook his head. “Don’t put that on yourself. I should have come to you as soon as I was safe. I should have called, I should have told Castiel I was safe, should have come back. But I just…”

Sam nodded. “You needed to breathe. I know. I just wish we could have done more for you.”

“You did. You have  _ no idea _ how much you did. I was  _ broken _ before you got me.”

“Did Sam lead the rescue?”

They turned to face her, momentarily forgetting they weren’t alone. “No. This asshole who killed his ex did. He was working for the bastard who… had me, and he only brought me to them when he found out he needed their protection. Part of me is glad though, that you didn’t see it, I mean. That cage was-“ he breathed through his nose shallowly. “It would have set you off. Your nightmares are already bad enough.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to ask this,” Natalie pulled the pen free from the clipboard to write something down. “But were you also captured, Sam? Because Gabriel seems to be hinting that you have been.”

Sam nodded grimly. “Yeah. For a year. _ His  _ brother got me out, but it left me with some… issues. My brother helped me out, but I still have nightmares.”

“How long ago was this?”

“About a month after I thought he was dead. His…  _ men _ . One of the um… I can’t say rank or who he is, or  _ was _ , but he was a rebel and he wanted me to help him destroy the world. I tricked him and we were trapped there together for a year. He- he never did the damage to me like he did Gabe, but he still hurt me, still… did things. He liked giving me hallucinations best. Sometimes I have to press my hand scar just to remind myself things are real. It was… it’s something I’m working on. But I’m getting better. Gabe, not so much.”

She nodded, scribbling on her notepad. “Have either of you been on antidepressants?”

“I was, for a bit. But then stuff happened..” Sam sighed. “I couldn’t find a good doctor.”

She nodded. “What were you on? I can write you a prescription right now.”

“Oh! Umm… would I follow up with you… or…?”

“You should be able to use a therapist from the VA, but that might take some time, so I can set you up with one closer to where you live. What about you Gabriel? Would you be willing to try antidepressants?”

His eyes didn’t leave Sam’s face. Sure, he was more human now and needed food and sleep, but would his grace burn out any meds? No, that’s crazy. The Aspirin worked the other day, and booze too. “I … I guess I could try it?” 

Sam nodded. “They help. I think it’s a good idea. But only if you’re going to be committed to taking them.”

“‘Course. I’m game.” He smiled, mask slipping back into place. 

Sam chuckled, leaning in and kissing his forehead lightly.

As they left the claustrophobic room and the far too perky therapist, Gabriel pulled Sam aside. “Did he ever… Lucifer. Did he- did he  _ touch  _ you… like-?”

Sam held his hand tightly, a look of uncomfortable shame and fear rolling across his face. “He’s dead now. It doesn’t matter.”

“It  _ does _ .”

“Gabe…” 

“ _ Sam!” _

Sam shook his head, pulling Gabriel to sit down on one of the couches in the hall across the wall waterfalls. “Look, it- it happened a few times. But he grew tired of it about- around the sixth-“ 

“Sam.” It was now Gabriel’s turn to collect Sam into his own lap. Shame the taller man barely fit, half his ass still on the couch. He managed to tuck Sam’s head under his own chin. “It’s okay to not want to talk about it, but I’m not going to blame you. He was cruel, and I know he wasn’t always, but that doesn’t excuse how he’s hurt other people. How he hurt  _ you _ . Even  _ if  _ it was less than mine. Suffering is  _ not  _ a contest, remember?”

Sam sniffled, remembering the talk he’d had with Jack in the summer, Gabriel hovering close by. “Yeah, I remember. But mine happened so much longer ago than yours, and you need me to be-“ 

“What? Strong? Unflinching and unmoving and stoic? No, I  _ need  _ you to be honest with me, and tell me when you’re hurting. Sam, I -“ Sam lifted his head, big eyes full of tears staring back at his own watery ones. “I need you,” he whispered. “I need you to be you, and if your trauma comes with the package deal, I’ll take it. We’ll work on our own stuff apart  _ and  _ together. I don’t - I  _ never  _ want you to think you can’t come to me with your issues, your pain, even if I’m hurting a little more than you. No secrets, please. I’ll be patient if you need me to be-“ Sam snorted at that. “Hey! Baring my heart here! But I just want some reassurance that you- that you’re planning on being open with me too. I want this to work.”

Sam cupped his cheek, eyes bright. “You do?”

“I- do you not want this? I mean, for real.”

Sam hiccuped a laugh. “Yeah, dumbass, for real. I- I’m still not really great with being with a dude here - not that I haven’t  _ been  _ with a guy sexually before, I  _ did _ go to college - and I’m just trying to catch up here cuz the fact that you’re an angel, even a depowered one, is still a lot for me to handle with you sharing my bed, but, I think I’m falling in-“

Sam never finished his sentence, a figure dressed in black was slammed into the glass doors of the back patio, shards of glass flying everywhere. Gabe managed to turn them both away with enough time to spare that the shards avoided any important bits. Working fast, the two unholstered their guns, pointing them at the figure. She turned over with a groan, her own gun knocked from her hands several feet away. 

“Areesa?” 

She turned her head slightly, eyes trying to focus on the now standing and armed pair. “Run-“ 

Winchesters don’t run away from a fight, though. They run towards it. Which is  _ probably  _ why their pool of hunting buddies has thinned out over the years. No matter, Sam leapt through the broken glass door and out to chase whatever the hell through her on the patio. 

“Are you okay?” Gabriel asked, helping Aressa up carefully. 

She nodded, checking her limbs and torso for any excessive injuries. “I’ll be okay. Your husband shouldn’t have gone after that thing, though.”

“What thing?” 

She looked up at him with a torn expression. “Uh…”

Something clicking in his head, like a final puzzle piece on a 3,000 piece puzzle of a picture of plums. “You and Evana are hunters. Sam and I hunt too, what is it?” 

She cocked an eyebrow, a range of emotions flirting about her own face before she sighed, figuring it out. “Sam. Winchester. Should have known. He’s too tall  _ not  _ to be a Winchester. You, though, you I haven’t heard of.”

He chuckled. “Oh I’m sure you have, but it’ll take a while before that clicks in for you.” He hefted her up with one hand, careful of the glass littering her clothing. “So what are we hunting?”

“Chimera.” Areesa pulled out the clip in her gun, checking it once over before clicking it back in place. “Nasty things.”

“The Uh… lion-dragon-goat thing that breathes fire, Yeah?”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “No, they’ve evolved a lot since the 6th century.” She looked at him with dread in her dark eyes. “This one’s genetically modified. Part chimera, part shifter, part vampire, part werewolf, and part chameleon. It’s-“ the sound of stone on stone shook them back to the present. 

“Right. How do we kill it?”

“Lead bullets. Shot into the mouth and burnt down the throat. But, the beast is being controlled by someone, and we don’t know who. It’s too powerful  _ not _ to be, and-“ 

Gabriel felt something move past his ear, grabbing Areesa and yanking her a few inches to the left, a bullet whizzing just by her head. Turning, they both stared daggers down at the waiter from the restaurant.

Without a word Areesa lunged for the man, falling flat as he teleported himself a foot to the right. “What the-?” She stilled as his eyes flickered black. “Demon.” 

“Mmmm. Hunters, and… oh!” The waiter smirked, knowing full well whom he was talking to, but decided to be a little shit for dramatic purposes. Because  _ of course _ a demon would, especially if people were dying. “Is that.. Why yes, it  _ is _ the one and only angel Gabriel!”

“ **_Arch_ ** angel, douchebag.” 

The demon chuckled, smug bastard pointing his gun back at Gabriel’s chest. “Not so much anymore though, huh? The word around the portals to hell is that you lost your angel mojo with that big ol’ flash in the sky last year. Isn’t that why we got some angels back? Hmm? I wondered why you didn’t pick up on me the second you blew through here, but I guess I know why now, huh?” He clicked the hammer on the gun back, staring Gabriel down as the angel pushed Areesa away. “Let’s just test that theory, shall we?” With an arch of an eyebrow, he fired the gun.

Now, some may say that the greatest trick Gabriel ever pulled was faking his own death, or making doubles of himself during infiltrations when he still lead armies in heaven, but Gabriel favoured the smaller little things here and there. Changing Dean’s hair to go with his mood to show everyone how fast it switched from the red of anger to the pink of embarrassment whenever Castiel came by too close was his favourite so far. Changing the demon’s revolver into a water gun was a close second. The water hitting his shirt was temporarily confusing for the demon on the other side of the pistol, but it gave Gabe that split second to lunge at the guy. 

Toppling the demon over into a chair, he grabbed at the knife in the waistband of his jeans, faltering as he was flipped over, legs pinned, arm stuck behind his back. “Fuck, you’re really low on power, aren’t you?” Gabe snarled at the cocky demon, using his one free arm to punch him in the face. “Ha ha! Punch me all you want, it won’t change any- aaargh!” He shrieked in pain, scrambling off of Gabriel quickly, clutching the side of his face.

He turned his head to see Areesa emptying a flask of holy water on Mr Demon Waiter, giving him enough of an edge to grab his knife and stand. 

“Bitch!” The demon sputtered, flicking his hand and sliding her across the floor right into the glass enclosed desk. “Fucking hell, can’t hunters ever level up their hunting? What ever happened to innovation of the human race? Hmm? Nothing. Shame. And you, angel?” Gabriel held his stance, not even a little intimidated. “You gonna kill me?”

“Something like that.”

The demon charged for him, but he barely missed, his suit jacket brushing against Gabe’s arm, something heavy in the pocket clipping his hand. Gabriel furrowed his brow, diving for the other man, grabbing the jacket and prying it off it’s occupant. He flipped it on the closest table and pulled the thing from the pocket. 

One and a half inches round, a weather beaten amulet on a leather cord, similar to the one they’d found in the woods, but different. The daeva symbol had been altered, bastardised to fit whatever this chimera monster needed to be controlled. He looked up at the demon with a raised eyebrow. “This? This is how you’ve managed to do all this damage? I’m almost impressed, actually. Threw us off your scent a bit. Thankfully Areesa and Evanna are smarter than you.”

“Wha-” 

Areesa stabbed him through the chest with an icicle 11 inches long, the waiter hissing and screaming in agony.  **_Holy water icicle. Now i’ve seen everything_ ** .

Slamming the waiter down on the small table, plates breaking underneath him, Gabriel waved the amulet in front of the other guy’s face. Tossing it to the ground, he let it break with a sickening crunch, ectoplasmic energy oozed out of it in a weird sludge-like mist. Eyes roaming through the broken window, he found Sam panting as he leaned against a car in the parking lot, very much alive. The chimera lay dead at his feet, starting to dissolve into a disgusting greenish pus, Evanna several cars away, hijab askew, lowering her still smoking gun. 

“You’re not going anywhere!” Gabriel held onto the squirming waiter, keeping him in place. 

“But these people! They’re here to fix their marriages and what do they do? They tell lies, their hearts are full of guilt and shame and their wandering eyes? Ugh! Fine, kill me if you want, but know that you are not the better one here.”

Areesa sneered at him in disgust. “No? Pretty sure murdering people is worse that working on your relationship with the love of your life.” She smirked at him, reciting the exorcism from memory, smiling with ease as he was ejected from his neat suit. 

Gabriel lowered the knife from the guy’s throat, slipping it out of sight. 

“What? Where- where am I? I don’t-“ 

Areesa helped Gabriel sit the man up. “It’s gonna be okay, sir. What’s your name?” 

“Uh, M-m-Mark. How… how did I get here? Where am I? I need to call my sister, she’s probably worried  _ sick.”  _

Gabriel nodded. “What do you remember last?”

“I went- I went out to get some Valentine’s Candy for my nieces and-” he turned his head to see the weather outside. “Oh God. It’s- where’s the snow? I don’t-” 

“It’s okay Mark. We’ll get you some help, okay?” Gabriel steered him into a chair, Areesa nodding as she left to check on her girlfriend. “I’m gonna ask my friend Donna to help you get home. Where are you from Mark?”

He shook, shock setting in. “Ev- Eveleth, Min- Minnesota. Oh, God. Oh GOD! What have I done?” His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. 

Gabriel pulled a chair close to him, flipping his phone from his pocket and texting Donna to come meet them at the front, a useless thing as she was already rounding the corner with her gun drawn. “That’s a, what? Thirty minute drive from Hibbing?” Mark nodded. “Donna lives near there, so you guys can fly home together! You’re gonna love Donna. She’s basically sunshine personified.”

 

“Gabriel?”   
  


“Ah! Speaking of sunshine.” Gabriel motioned her closer. “You can put that away. Demon’s gone, it’s just Mark in here now. Mark’s from Eveleth.”

 

She clicked her tongue. “Man, I miss all the action! And get outta here! Near the Hockey Hall Of Fame, yeah?”

 

She seemed to be exactly what Mark needed, calming him considerably. “Yeah. I take my nieces there every couple a months. They go crazy for everything hockey.”

“Me too!” 

Gabriel slowly backed away, letting the two of them talk things over, running through the front doors when he felt he could, grabbing onto Sam’s shoulders as soon as he could get close enough. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine. A couple bruises and scratches, but I’ll live.” Gabriel didn’t believe him, running his hands over Sam’s front and back. “Gabe, Gabe, really. I’m okay. Evanna saved my ass. She shot the thing in the  _ mouth _ . The hell  _ was _ that, by the way?”

“Chimera.” She said calmly. She’d adjusted her hijab back into place, Areesa clinging to her back. “We’ve never seen one this far genetically engineered though. Did you find out how he-”

Gabriel shook his head. “No. Areesa exorcised him before he got his hands on my neck. Sorry.”

“No, don’t apologise.” She sighed, obviously upset they didn’t have more information. “I’m just glad the guy can move on now. Wait, who’s with him?”

“Our friend Donna. She posed as security.”

Areesa tipped her head to look into the window. “Oh! THe blonde one. She’s very… perky. Glad she’s on our side so she can erase the tapes of us ever being here.”

Everyone agreed, slipping back into the resort, Donna immediately usering everyone into their rooms as she went to erase the tapes before the counselors came back with their hiking groups of the day. 

Exhausted, but still wired, Gabriel pulled Sam to the bed as soon as their door shut, kissing him as they fell onto the duvet. 

Sam kissed back, more than on board with the program, but something wasn’t right. Gabriel was still kissing him, but his body was rigid, hands trembling everywhere they touched. Sam pulled away. “Are you okay?”

“What? Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Gabe moved in to kiss him again, face contorted in confusion and pain. 

“Gabe.”

“Okay. You’re right. I’m not.”

Sam rubbed at his back, eyes softening. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing…. it’s just…”

“Asm- KFD?”

Gabe nodded. “I don’t want what that asshole did to me taint what we could have here. I just- I’m a mess. I’m sorry, l’ll go sleep on the couch, and-“

“Hey! It’s okay, you’re okay. You’re safe here, stay with me. If it makes you feel better, I’ll stay on my back, stay facing the other way when we sleep, whatever’s works at  _ your  _ pace.”

Gabriel smiled minutely. “You’re sweet, but I don’t want to hide anymore. He’s dead, and he won’t be coming back, and I’ll be okay, I’m just-“

“You also don’t have your grace anymore.”

“Hey!” He slapped Sam’s shoulder. “We agreed we wouldn’t bring that up.”

“I’m not saying anything bad, but trying to understand your experience with me with… before.”

“Well… it’s different, that’s for sure.” Gabriel mumbled, pulling Sam in closer, lips touching as he spoke. “I’m okay really. I promise.” It was all the encouraging Sam needed, kissing back enthusiastically as they adjusted their seating on the bed. He went to slip some tongue, being interrupted by a banging on the wall they shared with their neighbours. 

They broke apart, looking up and backwards to the wall the headboard leaned against, their neighbours clearly having sex in the room next door. “Wow. Think their bed is against this wall?” Sam asked. 

“I’d imagine their room layout is a lot like ours, so maybe they’re doing it against the wall?”

“Huh. That’s not easy.”

“Yeah. … wait, have you had sex against a wall?”

“Yeah.” Sam answered easily. “Haven’t you?”

He nodded. “Yeah. And on the Empire State Building, in the catacombs - don’t ask - even in a canoe.”

Sam scrunched her nose up at that. “What’s sex in a canoe like?”

“Like Canadian light beer.” Sam raised an eyebrow at him. “Fucking close to water.”

Sam laughed loudly in return. “I’ve never done that.”

“Huh.”

“In the impala a few times though.”

“Oh…  _ really _ now? Cuz I’ve gotta confess, I may have had a wet dream involving you and the hood of that thing. And the backseat. And the front seat. And- it was a  _ very  _ detailed dream.”

Sam raised an eyebrow very slowly. “Oh…  _ really now?” _ He leaned in close to breathe at the shell of his ear. “Maybe we can recreate that one day.”

Gabriel shuddered. “You are a cruel, cruel man, Sam Winchester. But yeah, I’d like that.”

 

They lay awake through the night, unable to sleep but too tired to do much else. Sam had of course lied, having been scratched by the chimera during the fight, Gabe healing him while they made out. Facing each other on the pillows, thy spent the wee hours of the morning talking, getting to know each other better.

Sam really didn’t know much about the archangel that wasn’t from lore. Thankfully, Gabe was willing to share. And over-share. The story about the pogo-stick at a salami factory was completely unnecessary.

“Were  _ you  _ ever in love?”

Gabe nodded. “Couple times. Once with a Grecian goddess, as well as an few unknown women from the 1680’S to 1934. I… I loved Kali. I think she cared for me too, just… not as much as I loved her. You?”

“Jess, of course. Eileen.” Sam thought a moment, eyes unfixed. “I  _ guess  _ I loved Amelia… I’m..” 

“Ruby?” 

Sam scrunched his nose. “I don’t know…”

“Hey, no one’s perfect. I fell in love with a prostitute in Babylon,  _ that _ was awkward.”

Sam chuckled. “Hmmm… I’d imagine so. Was she pretty? Did she have magical breasts?”

He laughed at the tease. “Yeah, he was, and no, he didn’t.” Sam raised an eyebrow. “What? I told you, gender and sex doesn’t bother me. I’m older than the fucking moon, I have other things to worry about.”

Sam twirled the hair around the angel’s face. “Why’d you do it?”

“Well see, when two people  _ really  _ care about each other, they usually find a bed, or an alley-“

“Ew, stop. Just… stop!” He shook his head, smile on his face. “I meant heaven. Why’d you do it? Save them, I mean.”

Sam knew he was pushing the wrong buttons here, he  _ knew _ that, but he still pushed. He needed to know, and Gabriel never gave anyone any reason outside of ‘because fuck you, that’s why’, so no one pushed. But he was pushing now. He knew he could get away with it. Maybe. Well, if he lost a toe, he’d make do with what he had left. 

“You.” He turned his head into Sam’s hand. “You kept your promises, you keep saving people who need your help, even if they’re monsters. You…. after all the crap I’ve done to you, the shit you’ve been through yourself… you were still kind to me after- after Asmo- after my  _ trauma, _ you were still kind to me; gentle. I don’t…. No one’s been gentle with me for over a thousand years, not one. But you were, still are, and I remembered something Michael said to me about human nature, and how dark and shrouded in hate it can get. Trauma makes you hard, makes you put up walls and trenches to protect yourself, but you… you didn’t let it. You let yourself be soft, even if you think you’ll regret it later, you’re still soft. I would have gladly died for you again. For real, obviously.” 

Sam stared at him. He stared for so long that Gabriel thought he was maybe having a stroke, something he could heal, yeah, but still. “I lo-“ Sam started, cutting himself off. He couldn’t… This was  _ a lot _ all at once and he didn’t know if he could trust his own heart. “I-“

“It’s okay.” Gabriel leaned down to kiss him sweetly. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say it till you’re ready. Can you just... just be here with me, please?"

Sam nodded, pulling Gabriel back down, wrapping his arms around the smaller man. “Of course. You know…” he started. “When we get back to the bunker-“

“Do you wanna stop this?”

“What? No! Wait, do you?”

“Fuck.  _ No.  _ I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. Anyways… when we get back… are we- did you want to hide this?”

Gabriel leaned in and kissed him again. “No. I don’t.”

“Me neither.”

“Good.” 

“Hmmm…”

“Are we going to keep sharing a room? Cuz I have suggestions.”

Sam groaned. “Oh boy…”

“Lemme just-“ he squirmed enough to lean up on his elbows. “I meant that I suggest we’d be in your room and maybe get a bigger bed, cuz I like cuddling you, but the issued beds are really low and I sometimes like to starfish when I sleep.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter will be posted by the end of September if I'm lucky.


	8. Chapter 8

Exhausted, Sam and Gabriel agreed on staying the rest of their trip between their room, the dining area, and the small  flower garden on the front grounds. Turns out, Gabriel could be mighty romantic when he wanted to be. Sam awoke on their sixth day to breakfast in bed - that Gabe  _ thankfully  _ didn’t cook on his own - and a fantastic scalp massage that Sam would deny he fell back asleep to. He also whispered the sweet words of Noah on the screen to Sam’s ear while Allie Hamilton kissed her man for the first time. He also liked braiding Sam’s hair. Tiny interlocking braids like Elrond going to the elven ball. 

“I think that’s enough braids, Gabe.” Sam tilted his head back, Gabriel’s hands holding his head steady to keep Sam from keeling over into his lap. “I don’t want to end up leaving here with ‘80’s Beverly Switzler hair.” 

Gabriel smirked at him, eyebrow raised. “But you’d make it work.” He kissed his nose, so gently, Sam closed his eyes, overwhelmed with the amount of affection he was being showered. “I’ll take them out later, my  _ Aisuru _ .”

Turning his head, he kissed his lover’s palm. “Okay, I trust you,  _ Watashi no mijikai koibito. _ ”

He froze. “Uh… what?” 

Trailing his fingers on Gabriel’s five o’clock shadow, he offered, “you’re not the only one who knows Japanese. Bobby - _our_ Bobby \- taught me the basics when he was alive, and Yuri helped me with the pronunciation.” 

“So… so you knew? This  _ whole time _ . Why- I don’t- why’d you act like you hated it?”

“I thought you were fucking with me. Even though we were pretending to be married, I… I still couldn’t handle the pet name if you were joking.” He turned his head back towards the TV, sorrow dripping from his tone. 

Gabriel lifted him up, turning so they faced each other on the bed, hands bracketing his face carefully. “I would never do that, not to you. I’ve met a lot of people - angels, demi-gods, goddesses, demons, humans,  _ leviathan _ \- but I’ve never met anyone like you. There have been some that were close, but no one could hold a candle to you. You’ve spent your life sacrificing things so other people wouldn’t have to, you’ve sympathized with monsters and you’ve - Sam. You went against my  _ brother.  _ More than twice. I- I tried  _ once. Once!  _ And it- it almost  _ broke _ me. But you…” he let out a puff of air, blinking back tears. Sam’s fingers trailed along the crow’s feet around his eyes. “You’ve always been a surprise to me, to everyone, I hope. The gentle giant. The boy with the bad hand dealt. The recovering addict, dutiful brother, loving uncle - no offence to Cassie, but you were the  _ real _ parental figure to Jack, and Claire says you’re the ‘least sucky Winchester’ which I  _ think  _ is a huge compliment? - and despite all the trauma you’ve been through, it hardened you, yeah, but you’ve worked  _ so hard _ to stay soft. You’re vulnerable and soft and loving and compassionate and I-“ gently pressing his lips to Sam’s, he breathed. “I never want to be away from you ever again.” 

Sam Winchester was no idiot. He knew how it felt to be treated like a piece of meat, or a punching bag, or just being a convenient warm body for the night. He had loved Jess, still had a place for her in his heart, always will, but he had forgotten how much another person loving you felt like. It’s hadn’t happened for so long, he thought his ship had sailed. He thought ‘ _ if I don’t end up happy with someone, then I’ll just make do _ ’ and ‘ _ maybe the someone I’m with doesn’t have to be romantic’ _ . And he was right, but  _ man _ . Having Gabriel in his arms, reminding him that he was a good person, an actual good person who was good because it was the right thing to be, it was  _ everything _ . It meant everything to feel the swell of love between them, and even though he felt the words stuck in his throat, unable to come to terms with saying it outloud, it didn’t matter. It only mattered that they had each other. 

He pulled away gently, pushing a strand of hair from his lover’s face. “I know it’s cliché, but I’m blessed to have you, you know that, right?” 

“D’aaaw… you big sap.” 

“I mean it.”

“I know, Sam. I know.”

He raised an eyebrow. “When was the last time you called me by my actual name?”

Gabriel shrugged. “Saving it for when I rock your world, babe.”

Sam snorted, shoving him playfully. “I bet you end up a total speechless mess.”

“I’ll take that action. What’d ya say? Twenty bucks?”

“No. Laundry for a week.”

“Psssht! A  _ month.  _ I’m so gonna win, Sambulance.”

Sam laughed, pulling him closer. “Whatever you say short stack.”

“No.”

“Gabester?”

“Dude…”

“Arm rest? House mouse? Frodo? Lil’ angel? Danny Devito?”

“ _ Danny Devito?  _ I’m sorry, do you have a  _ thing  _ for  _ Danny Devito? _ ”

“No!”

“Cuz then you’d be making out with Danny  _ Devito!” _

“So… house mouse is getting the most love?”

“Shu- shut up!” He tickled him on his sides, inciting an all out tickle war, falling off the bed and laughing on the carpet floor next to each other. 

Sam resting his head on a fist, staring down at Gabriel as he used his free hand to move hair from his lover’s face. “Hmmm… so what would you want me to call you? Just Gabe?” 

“Normally, I don’t like Gabe, but I like when you say it. I also really like..” Gabriel mumbled something, Sam straining to hear it. 

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you past the mumbling.”

“I said…”

“Huh?” 

Gabriel looked at him with discontent in his eyes. “Babe, okay? I like being called ‘Babe’. Happy?”

Sam kissed the tip of his nose, snuggling closer. “Yep. I’m actually really happy,  _ babe.” _

 

————

 

Checking out on the eighth day went far smoother than they anticipated, all thanks to Donna. She wiped the security feed, claiming it was an animal of some sort breaking into the retreat. Thankfully, Garth still had his ranger uniform and came to the rescue to “file a report” for them, sweeping the whole thing under the proverbial rug. Shame about Mark, though. Poor guy was going to need  _ so much therapy _ after all that. Thankfully, Sam still had Mia Vallens’ business card tucked into his wallet. 

After parting with Evanna and Areesa - Sam almost positive Areesa lifted some witch killing rounds but said nothing - they went to say goodbye to their new friends. 

June cried when Gabriel hugged her. He whispered an entire speech to her when Sam was out of earshot, hugging her through it all and rocking slowly from side to side. June was just young enough that Gabe kind of looked like he could be her dad, which wouldn’t be nuts since the guy was older than the earth. It seemed that’s exactly what she needed though, and who was Sam to take that away from her?

Trent was nowhere to be seen - Chad apparently had yelled at him the day after he’d punched Gabriel and the two had broken up. Chad had spent the last few days mostly in one on one therapy, and on the phone with lawyers and his mother trying to get shit sorted. Lance told them as much as they saw a subdued Chad walk himself and his one sad Rollie suitcase to his cab to the airport. 

“We had the room across theirs, and I heard  _ everything _ ,” Lance leaned in once Chad’s cab had pulled out of the parking lot. “It was  _ amazing. _ He kept telling Trent ‘ _ this is why we don’t have friends anymore, because everytime we make them, you sabotage them.’  _ And Trent kept saying things like ‘ _ you’re delusional’  _ and _ ‘that’s not true’  _ and _ ‘it’s not my fault you bore people and the only way they like us is when we sleep with them!’” _

“No. No way!”

“Ah, yes way! It got  _ so  _ quiet and then Chad said ‘ _ but I thought Daryl and Nate  _ **liked** _ my singing voice’ _ and Trent yelled ‘ _ no, he liked your  _ **moaning** _ voice.’  _ And then Trent accused Chad of being a… well, lots of racist shit like how Chad had a black boyfriend before him and it was all-“

Sam held a hand up with disgust on his face. “Got it, don’t need to… yeah.” 

Lance shrugged. “What can I say, I’m glad they’re done. They were bad for each other… and the rest of the world.”

Yuri scoffed, slamming the trunk of their sedan shut next to them. “Ugh, yeah, no kidding. You forgot to tell Sam about how Trent told Chad it didn’t matter cuz he cheated on Chad anyways.”

“What?” Sam’s eyes darted between the two of them. “He did? When? With  _ who _ ?”

“Oh! Oh, that was sad. Apparently on their  _ wedding day _ with Chad’s apparently not that straight cousin. And their mailman. And Trent’s personal trainer.”

“No freaking way!”

“Oh, there’s more!” Sam’s jaw dropped as Lance went on. “The guy who works with Chad at the library - which, by the way, did  _ not _ peg Chad to be the guy who works in a  _ library  _ of all places - and the guy who does their hair,  _ and three _ of Chad’s ex boyfriends. Which is apparently one short of the whole set, if you’re wondering. And Chad was  _ pissed.  _ Heard him on the phone bawling his eyes out with his mom saying how he was ‘a little racist by not on this level’ and how he just wanted to go home to New Orleans. He doesn’t even  _ have  _ an accent. Weird. Either way, Trent left with one bag and a vendetta so I hope he didn’t set fire to the house or some shit.” 

They talked shit about Trent for ten more minutes before finally having no choice but to depart. Saying goodbye to the couple was far harder than Sam thought it’d be, especially since he was so sure they’d see one another soon again. Sure, Sam could call them up next time they were in New York and have dinner the four of them, but then they’d have to keep lying about who they actually were. Sure, he and Gabe were together now, but it wasn’t all truth. His one solace was that Gabriel felt the same way, and they debated it in the car for an hour on their drive home until Gabriel changed the subject. 

“What do you think about… getting a dog?”

“A dog? Sam repeated. 

“Yeah.”

“Oh man! Dean would flip his  _ shit _ . Ha  _ ha! _ That would be great! But…” he winced. “Would suck for the dog whenever we’d go out for a hunt. Wouldn’t be fair to take it with us too."

“Oh. Right. Forgot. Never mind the dog, what about a cat?”

He shook his head. “Dean’s allergic.” He sighed. “I’ve thought about every possible pet scenario and the only one I could think of that he wouldn’t flip out over is a bunny or a guinea pig, and even then…”

Gabriel nodded along, a bit dejected. “Yeah, I get it. He’s kind of a dick, Sam.”

“Yeah, I know. But he’s my brother.”

It was quiet in the car for about five minutes before Gabriel got a smirk on his face. A smirk Sam knew all too well. “Hmm… you know..”

“Uh-oh, this can’t end well.”

“Shut up a second, would you? I’m just thinking…  _ maybe  _ if we find a situation like this one and throw  _ your  _ pain in the ass brother with  _ mine _ …” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

Sam laughed. “He’d be a little more lenient?”

“Exactly!”

“No, Gabe! He’ll still veto against it, but maybe mom could convince him otherwise.” He paused to stare at the dashboard in the passenger seat, eyes unfixed. “Hmm… maybe… it  _ might _ work.  _ Maybe _ .”

“More like ‘definitely Gabe, that’s the best plan ever!’” 

“Thought you hated when people call you Gabe.”

“Yeah… except you and Jack. You two can call me that.  _ Occasionally _ .” 

Sam’s resulting smile told Gabriel that he’d said the right thing. 

 

——————-

 

Sam dropped his bag on the floor of his room, ignoring it in favour of the sounds of laughter in the kitchen. Peering over the side of the entryway, he was shocked to see Dean holding Luna one handed on his hip, the other pointing to where Jack had to stir whatever was bubbling in the pot. 

“Why can’t I just use my powers to get us take out instead?” The nephilim asked. 

Dean’s face was calm - a true oddity whenever he was around Jack. “Cuz, even though you have some of your grace, it’s still a good skill to have under your belt. Also, Luna doesn’t have any powers and she might learn better from you than from me. Isn’t that right, big girl?!” Sam watched on in fascination as Dean bounced on the spot, baby talking to a two year old who watched on with big eyes. She squealed in happiness as he blew a raspberry on her cheek. “See? She agrees with me. And you’re going to want to set the heat on low now. Don’t want it to burn.”

Sam gently creeped back out, taking a quiet photo on his phone when no one was looking on for later. He’s just have to go in for food when they cleared out. Shuffling back to his room, he gently closed the door behind him, making as little noise as possible. 

He spent the next two hours eating the dinner Dean and Jack made and getting lost in a book. It was a great night. 

Sam laid down, head barely hitting the pillow before the door opened again, Gabriel shutting it firmly behind him as he shuffled quickly towards the bed. Flopping down onto Sam’s chest with a grunt, he snuggled down into the mattress. “Your hair’s all wet. Did you take a bath  _ with _ Luna?”

Gabriel grunted, turning his head just enough to speak. “She likes splashing. A  _ lot _ . Figured I was due for a shower anyways, so after I dried her, your mom took her and I took a shower. Hope you don’t mind me using your conditioner.”

“No, you can use it.” Sam ran his fingers through the soft damp locks, small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “You and mom have been getting along really well lately. I’m glad.”

Gabe hummed in response. “I told her, about us, by the way. I hope you don’t mind. She said she was a little surprised, but not really. Said she was glad her boy ‘had an angel watching over him’.”

“Hmm. That all she said?”   


“Also, if I break your heart, I’ll be spending the next six hundred years trying to fix my penis because she’ll blow it off with the grenade launcher.”

Sam laughed, Gabe’s face shaking on his chest. “That’s more like mom!” Coaxing him closer, he kissed his boyfriend on the mouth soundly. “I’m glad you two are getting along.”

“Me too.”

“Wish you and Dean could-”

“Not likely to happen anytime soon. He says he’s still traumatized from when I ‘forced him’ to ride inside the ‘Sampala’ - his words, not mine. But to be fair, I never  _ forced  _ him to do anything.”

“Hey, why  _ did _ you stick us in there? Like, you said it was to get us to ‘play our parts’, but come on. It’s been a decade, just tell me-”

“You would have died.” Sam quieted, looking into Gabriel’s sorrowful eyes. It was rare for the angel to be so open with anyone. “You would have died either way, but in TV land? No one could find you. Cas only found you because Dean’s longing for him is like the NHMFL magnet in a major appliance outlet. Lu- the other archangels wouldn’t have been able to find you, so you might have died, but at least you wouldn’t go out being attached to a comet hurtling towards the sun. It- it was the closest thing to a mercy kill as I could think of. I had my own personal witness protection program that only you two knuckleheads ever figured out, so I thought ‘hey, what if I keep these two safe? I can do something about this without dealing with any of my brothers, and still go on shelling out just desserts for sad sacks all around the globe.’ I never anticipated you’d outsmart me.” He grinned. “But you always surprise me, always.”

Sam blinked, dumbfounded. “You gave me fake herpes so Lucifer wouldn’t wear me to the prom?”

“Uh… duh?”

“But  _ why?  _ Why  _ herpes, _ Gabe?”

“Cuz… cuz I don’t know! I was going to do psoriasis but Herpexia sounded better for herpes, and I couldn’t come up with a funnier name than  _ Herpexia _ , so I just,” he motioned his hand as if throwing a pair of die. “I rolled the dice. Hoped maybe one of you would find it funny… eventually.”   


“Dean found it funny.”

“You?”

“No.”

“Not even a little?”

“No. Didn’t like being punched in the balls either.”

Gabriel flinched in sympathy. “Yeah…. Sorry about that. That was straight up mean. I have zero excuse for that one.”

“MMhhmmm.”

“Anything I can ever do to make you forgive me?”

“Dean’s laundry. For an entire month.”

“Nope, uh-uh, I’d rather lose a foot.”

“No you wouldn’t”

“You don’t know me as well as you’d think, then.”

Sam maneuvered them so they sat up, Gabe in his lap, thighs on either side of Sam’s hips. “Maybe I just know how much you secretly want my brother to like you, especially now that we’re together.” He mouthed at his jaw, rendering Gabriel incapable of coherent thought. “Maybe you’d convince Jack to secretly help you, or maybe you like your feet too mu-” he pulled away, a chilling thought having just occurred to him. “Your vessel: what happened to him?”

He blinked back at Sam, confused. “Huh?”   


“Your vessel. His soul, what happened?”

“Oh! Nothing. I made this vessel from scratch; it never was anyone’s except my own. Why?”

Sam cupped his cheeks, smiled spreading on his features. “No, I just wanted to know if we had an audience every time we kiss.” To illustrate the point, he leaned in, kiss staying chaste for almost an entire ten seconds before things got hot and heavy. Had they any modicum of privacy, it would have turned  _ very _ physical, but not in  _ this _ bunker, oh no.  _ This  _ bunker had too many nosey people in it. A knock sounded at their door before Gabe could get his hands under Sam’s sleep shirt. “Who is it?”

“It’s me.” Dean’s gravely voice was rougher than usual on the opposite sides of the door. He opened the door just a crack, peeking his head through. “I hope you’re decent and- nope. You’re in my brother’s lap, geez.”

“Calm down Dean-o. We’re just  _ kissing _ . I promise I won’t defile your brother… when you’re home.”

“Ew. Anyways… Happy Belated Birthday little bro, we missed you and we’re going to have a movie night tomorrow with steaks and birthday pie.” He regarded Gabriel with… not disgust, but definitely not affection, either. “Uh, thanks for helping with Luna and the bath, Gabriel. It uh… it really helped, actually. She always ends up soaking me.”

“Oh, she soaked me too. I just changed after.”

“....right. Anyways, thanks. Uh… not to be nosey, but are you two going to… you two sharing Sam’s room now?”

“Yeah. Problem?”

“No, no. Just double checking. Since you’re moving out, I’ll move Bobby in there. He could use a break from Garret and his snoring. That cool with you?”

Gabriel waved a hand in his general direction. “Go nuts. I’ve moved about everything out of there, save for the tv and a couple of movies, but Bobby might want to actually keep em, so all the power to him. He deserves his own place.”

Sam regarded him with a look, but neither of them paid Sam any attention, Dean simply nodding and shutting the door behind him as he left, mumbling something under his breath. 

“Bobby deserves his own place, but what? You don’t?”

“I don’t  _ need _ one. If one of us needs a break from the other, there's a whole lotta bunker to spend the afternoon in, and besides… I’m ruined now after the retreat.” He kissed Sam’s forehead, feather soft. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fall asleep without you next to me now.”

Sam hummed, nodding minutely. “Yeah. Same here. You’re always cold anyways. You might freeze to death alone, babe.”

“Ha ha. Very funny, Winchester, very funny.”

They spent most of their days like that, both of them doing whatever they needed to do, then coming back to Sam’s -  _ their _ room for bed. Occasionally, they’d take cases, but only one was without the both of them. Gabriel had gone just about out of his mind when Sam had fallen during a werewolf hunt and ended up with gashes all along his back. He’d stolen Castiel’s Continental and drove all night to heal Sam on a grimey motel room bathroom, yelling at Dean for being so careless. Which did nothing to make Sam feel better since  _ he  _ was the idiot being careless; a fact Gabriel  _ still _ brought up. 

Gabriel and Mary had gotten along better, even having weekly poker games where no one ever really won, especially not with both of them cheating. It was their thing though, and Sam would catch them in the library playing Go Fish instead, both pretending they were too good for it all. Jack would sometimes join them, though he was still confused as to when the fish would appear. 

The betting pool for Castiel and Dean was still on, the stakes higher than ever. Rowena had upped her bet, saying that she just ‘knew’. Apparently, her ‘knowing’ was actually  _ cheating  _ \- the cunning witch tried to throw them into a love spell that backfired when the first thing Dean laid eyes on was a man dressed as a giant slice of pie instead of Castiel in his new shirt. 

But that didn’t matter. What  _ did  _ matter is that three months, fourteen days and ten hours after they came home from their retreat, Gabriel would win the pot - a total number too much for them to predict - when Dean decides to go for a ride with Castiel one day, not coming home until morning. In the near future, he’d win his bet, but for now, he won the jackpot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending is a tad rushed but a bitch got deadlines and I needed this done, like some of yall needed it done too, so thanks for your continued support and hope y'all enjoyed it! Please, if you see a grammar or spelling mistake let me know as I'm still learning and would love feedback. Cheers! 
> 
> ps: google told me "Watashi no mijikai koibito" means "my birthday lover" but IDK how accurate that is....


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